If you walk into your local bookstore and pick up any random title on interpersonal communication, the majority of the books will simply remind you to "always be approachable."
Wow, you think, thanks for the advice.
But when you walk into a room full of strangers, attend a national conference or start a new job, that advice doesn't help maximize your approachability.
In my book, The Power of Approachability, my goal was to help the reader change his or her paradigm of communication and think of every interaction - big or small, online or off - in terms of approachability.
Now, as the research continues, I've created a new model. It's called The Approachability Indicator?. For the past five years, I've examined thousands of case studies, scientific journals, books, interviews, surveys and articles on what the world thinks approachability means. And although the research showed that various disciplines and people viewed the idea differently, there were several fascinating commonalities among all the sources.
This system will teach you what approachability is, why it's critical to successful communication, and it will provide you with concrete techniques to MAXIMIZE it.
To begin, the word "approachability" derives from the Latin verb apropiare, which means "to come nearer to." Therefore, approachability is a two way street. And the model represents both inbound and outbound channels. Outbound, or proactive approachability, is stepping onto someone else's front porch. It's about being bold. It's about breaking the silence. And it's about taking initiative. Inbound, or reactive approachability, is welcoming others onto your front porch. It's about openness. It's about availability. And it's about making yourself accessible to others.
All types of approachability fall into one of seven categories. (To see a diagram of The Approachability Indicator?, as used in my workshops and seminars, see the contact information below.)
As you read the list below, each section will give you several techniques to help MAXIMIZE it!
Building Social Capital
Willingness to develop new relationships
1) Acknowledge people you know
2) Welcome new Business/personal relationships with various types of people
3) network for the purpose of mutually valuable relationships, not sales
4) Become easily engaged by friends and strangers alike
5) Maintain the confidence to talk to high level professionals
6) Learn to enjoy meeting new people
7) Constantly enlarge your network
8) Make eye contact, even if you don't know someone
What You Say
Dynamics of conversation
1. Patiently allow others to interrupt you for conversational clarity
2. Leave a conversation making your partner feel good about himself
3. Make sure every person in the group is involved in the conversation
4. Allow people to finish jokes, even if you're heard them a million times
5. Break the uncomfortable silence when nobody else will
6. Still be friendly to others, even if you're in a bad mood
7. Change the subject when someone else feels uncomfortable
8. Be sensitive to other people's communication apprehension
9. Give people an experience, not just a conversation
What You Don't Say
Non-verbal behaviors
1. You have two ears and one mouth - listen and talk accordingly
2. Use gestures when you talk
3. Wear clothes that make you look and feel comfortable
4. Give high-fives and hugs when appropriate
5. Vary your vocal inflection when you talk
6. Look ahead when you're walking, not at the ground
7. Smile when introduced to someone
8. Smile when you say goodbye to someone
9. Smile when you answer the phone
10. Keep your arms uncrossed, even if it's cold
11. Use adequate pauses during conversation, instead of talking for the sake of talking
Keeping It Real
Authentic personality
1. Inspire others instead of impress them
2. Become the world's expert on your
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