Ask Laskas Advice Column
Question
I've been talking online to a guy for more than a year. We have lots in common. Recently, we made plans to meet (he lives in another state). I've never told my parents about him and now I feel guilty. I'm not a kid -- I'm 18 -- but I'm afraid they'll get protective and forbid me to meet or even talk to him anymore. What should I do?
-- Confused Juliet
Dear Juliet,
Stop! DO NOT go alone to meet this guy. Online romance is a risky Business at any age. Move your conversations with Romeo offline and onto the phone. Ask to talk to his friends and family. If you don't want to involve your folks at this point, be sure to meet on your Home turf -- with at least one friend along. Remember: healthy relationships rarely start out as forbidden secrets.
Question
This is weird. My wife and I moved to a new house and met a couple who copy everything we do. If we buy something, they buy it. If we make a Home improvement, they do too. My wife got a new haircut; the woman styled hers the same way. What's going on?
-- Copied Cats
Dear Copied,
Two possibilities: Your neighbors are aliens from another planet, learning to pass as humans. Or they are regular folks who think you and your wife are very cool, and want to be just like you. Style cloning is a bit creepy, but don't sweat it. Be polite. Keep your distance. They'll start mirroring others soon.
Question
My adult brother has teased my son since he was two years old: wedgies, noogies, holding him upside down by his ankles, saying he wears pink panties. He teases until my son cries. My husband and I have told him many times to stop, but nothing's worked. We quit inviting him over, even at Christmas. This caused a family crisis. The grandparents blame us and won't visit anymore. Now what?
-- Angry
Dear Angry,
You made the right choice. An adult who bullies a child needs to be stopped. Call a family meeting to explain why you excluded Uncle. For the sake of family unity, go to family parties, but only if your brother swears he'll cease and desist. Watch to see that he does.
Question
My mother-in-law constantly brings me tacky little items for my Home. Most of it is junk she has stored for years and doesn't want herself. If I don't display the stuff, she drops little hints and looks disappointed. Please tell me what to do. I want her to quit bringing me things I don't want or need without sounding like...
-- An Ungrateful Daughter-In-law
Dear Ingrate,
You can beat Mummy at the collection game. Get a (small) display case and lovingly place the junk she gives you in it. Keep adding until it's crammed full. Then, when she brings you another item, ask her to help you choose which treasure on display you should remove to make room for the newest gem.
Question
I've been living with a wonderful man for eight months. He runs a small manufacturing company and is constantly out on a limb. No nest egg, no health benefits and dicey credit. I'm scared to death to enter a second marriage with a man with so many liabilities. I inherited some money, which I guard for my future and my children's. How do I handle my heart and his finances?
-- Budget-Conscious Bride
Dear Budget,
Do everything you can to separate the money matters from the romance. First, be sure you really love this fiscal nightmare and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Second, get a prenuptial agreement to protect your assets and your children's. Third, go to a financial planner for strict rules on budgeting. Then insist that your Businessman play by accepted accounting procedures. If he will, and if you're sure he will, go buy the champagne.
Question
My husband left his old company for a better work environment. Now he's back in the same old pattern: leaves at 6 a.m., eats his lunch at his desk and doesn't get Home until after 6 p.m. When he comes in, he's exhausted and has no time for me or the kids. Isn't 12 hours at the salt mines enough? What can we do?
-- Clockwatcher
Dear Watcher,
Your man is running scared of work or hiding in it. Maybe he thinks this is the only way to hold on to his job. Maybe he's ducking you and the kids out of fear of intimacy. In either case, talk to him lovingly about your concerns and get him professional counseling.
收藏至：
 |
Up |  |
