The current state of the economy certainly hasn’t created a shortage of first date horror stories. They continue to proliferate, despite (or maybe because of) a lack of dating funds. But cash-strapped guys and gals have been on the dating scene for all eternity, so why haven’t we adapted our first date strategies to make the experience more pleasurable?
In order to ensure an at least tolerable first date, we first have to define what a “date” is. According to the Baltimore Sun’s dating expert, Maryann James, a date is defined as follows:
Date (DAY-t) n. An outing with someone you're romantically interested in, with the goal of learning more about them and/or to spending time alone with each other. Dates are not group outings (see: Group date) or trips to the other person's house. In order to qualify as a date, there must be interaction in a public place.
So sorry, a first date is not really a date if you don’t go out in public. But why wouldn’t you? If your first date is used as described above—to better get to know someone with whom you might like to be romantically linked—you can avoid all sorts of awkward and potentially dangerous circumstances if you meet in public. Which leads us to our first First Date mandate:
Meet in public.
Just because you think a guy/girl is totally smokin’, and/or she/he came highly recommended by your third cousin’s aunt Brenda, does not mean you should risk meeting in private for the first date. If you happen to be the type that attracts psychopaths for some reason or another, following this simple mandate will allow you to make a safer exit from a date gone sour.
A date in public does not have to be expensive, either. Check out a free local art gallery, or just go out for ice cream instead of dinner. And when you drop a scoop of Chunky Monkey on your lap, don’t be embarrassed just…
Be yourself.
Mandate #2 of having a fun and productive First Date.
But don’t reveal too much. But how can he truly know who I am if he doesn’t know I went to rehab at 17 after trying to jump off a bridge, then I found God!? you might be thinking.
Yes, the purpose of this date is to get to know one another. However, that doesn’t mean you need to spill your guts. It is the first date, after all. Use it to see if you feel like you’re emotionally compatible. Does your date pay attention to what you say? Is your date an optimist? Does your date make rude remarks about the people walking by as you dine outside?
What is your date wearing? Your clothes can reveal a lot about you. The first date is not the time to experiment with a hot new trend. Unless you are a super trendy person, so wearing studded ankle booties or a fedora gives your date an honest look at your true self.
If you are both being yourselves, you’ll have a much better gage of your future compatibility—without making yourself completely vulnerable to a relative stranger by emptying your baggage on date numero uno!
If your date hasn’t gotten the memo about zipping it when it comes to all his past hurts and indiscretions, it’s always good to…
| health | Top Tips | nutrition | Love | lifestyle | Happiness | Weight Loss |
Have an exit strategy.
You’re meeting in a public place. Preferably one that allows you to talk so you can see if you’re compatible. Movies, while romantic, are an awful first date choice because you will leave not knowing much more about your date, except maybe that he/she chews popcorn with his/her mouth open, or laughs obnoxiously loud. (Unless that movie has a follow-up dinner or walk.)
Make sure at least one other person knows your game plan for the evening—where you’re going, with whom, and what time you should be expected back. You can also use this friend to plan a timely phone call in the middle of the date. If it is going well, you can let your buddy know so he/she won’t worry about you too much. If it sucks, you can tell your date you have a family emergency and have to cut it short.
If honesty is your best policy, still make sure someone knows your plans for the date, but nix the phone call. Perhaps a good ol’ dose of straight talk is all you need to extract yourself from a painful situation. Kudos to you.
If you last past appetizers (or the first five minutes of doing anything), you’ll want to make sure you…
Prepare questions.
You don’t have to sound like Oprah interviewing a convicted felon. But there must be things about this person you would like to know. So ask! Playing 21 Questions isn’t out of the question, just don’t dig too deep yet. Showing a genuine interest in your date—and not taking every opportunity to talk about yourself—is always a good policy.
Making sure you’ve got things to talk about will also ensure you avoid becoming enveloped in a cloud of awkward silence. Unless, you know, you defy mandate number two, and tell your date, oh I don’t know, that you have something equivalent to a yeast infection contaminating your entire body. (Yes, that happened to me. No, I didn’t finish my dinner.) How do you follow up to that? Some questions you just don’t want to ask. Enter the exit strategy!
Finally…
Relax.
You’re both in this first date together for one simple reason: to see if you’d like to be in one another’s company again. What’s the worst that could happen? Your third cousin receives a raging phone call from his Aunt Brenda?
If you discovered you are compatible, more fun awaits on the second date and beyond!
收藏至：
