3. Instead of offering opinions, ask questions.
People love to argue. Make a statement, and by God, someone out there is going to contradict it. If you enjoy and know how to play the debate game, take them on... it will be a learning experience for all. But if conflict makes your tummy hurt, you can spur on a discussion in a more genteel way; by asking questions!
If you ask people what they think, they'll feel encouraged to jump into the discussion... and that's what you want, isn't it? Ask questions, and let folks know you're open to new points of view. When you word your ideas in the from of questions, you're basically saying "Hey, I know I don't have all the answers. But I'm thinking, and I'd love for you to add your insights." Then, by phrasing your questions in a specific way, you can gently 'lead' the conversation. Next time you have a strong opinion to state, practice rephrasing it into a question. "What ways might we practice common courtesy in an effort to improve internet communication?" There, see how easy that was?
4. Remember the real-time issue.
If you haven't noticed, real-time has some wacky effects on internet communication. Sometimes, messages look like they're written in response to something someone else said... when really, they just landed there by sheer coincidence!
Suppose someone posts a remark at 9:05 a.m. Pacific Time, as you just happen to be posting the exact opposite viewpoint at 12:05 p.m. Eastern Time. When the messages "land" one after the other, it creates the illusion that the second person was arguing with the first person, when actually they were not and had no knowledge of the other person's post! Whoa. That's real-time at work, and it's some crazy stuff. The lesson to be learned: don't assume anything, especially on the internet.
The other way that real-time can botch up the works is if you're seeking advice or technical support. You post a question, some time elapses, and the moderator replies. But by now, you've figured out the answer and it's led you to a third complication. Now, you can either try and over-explain the confusion in an effort to be polite, or say to yourself, "the heck with this" and leave the discussion, which could be perceived as rude. It's quite a fretful situation. Keeping this in mind...
5. Think before you speak.
Using the example from Point 4: thinking before you ask technical questions can save everybody the exhaustion of over-communication. Rather than blurt out your confusion, have a look around, see what's going down. Is there an FAQ section you can refer to?
I have been known to dive right in to the chat without knowing what the heck is happening. As a result, I am familiar with the taste of shoe leather. If you're puzzled about what's going on in a public forum discussion... can you go back and read a few old posts to get caught up? You'll save everyone a lot of wasted words if you just get with the program. I learned the hard way, but you don't have to.
"Think before you speak" also means proofread. Be on the lookout for ambiguous content. If you're tired, stressed or feeling under the weather, you may have some trouble getting your point across. Maybe it's not the best time to communicate.
As a writer, I'm acutely aware of word choice. Use the wrong word, and WOOOPS- somebody is getting the total wrong idea. Copywriters have a chance to write multiple drafts - and in that way, get multiple chances to refine what they say in their writing. Internet posters don't have this option. Once you hit POST, you can't take back what you've written. All you can do is send MORE posts, and give folks the impression that you are a babbling fool! So, for your own sake, heed my words, take your time, think about what you want to say, and PROOFREAD!
Above all, keep a positive attitude and an open mind. Welcome others' opinions while gently expressing your own. Be forgiving and patient with people and their bumbling ways. Be a good internet communicator.
Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved.
Dina Giolitto is a New-Jersey based Copywriting Consultant with ten years of industry experience. Her current focus is web content and web marketing for a multitude of products and services a
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