So, which is stronger? Which has more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower the other? Let's say that you find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That's a feeling, an emotion. It comes from your heart. However, at the same time, you are entertaining a very pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude comes from your mind. Which will win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It's hard to say. If you change your attitude, then the feelings of being in love can grow and perhaps become a wonderful source of joy for you. If you hold on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it will wear on the loving feelings and you will eventually stop loving that other person. What if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, that they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings can definitely have an effect on your attitude, but more often than not, your attitude wins.
Your attitude is not more powerful because it's more important than your feelings. It's more powerful because it's more stubborn than your feelings. Let's look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We've seen people fall madly in love with someone who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were not able to overpower their attitude. They believe 'it's never going to work out anyway' and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to further continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The reason the attitude wins the battle more often then our feelings is because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force.
What if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you might be rejected by the opposite sex, but you had a positive attitude towards love in general because you'd had 'happily ever after' role modeled to you as a child, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again.
If your feelings and attitudes match, then you have an inner balance and harmony within yourself. Isn't this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude comes from your head and feelings come from your heart. When the two agree you are able to focus and move forward with confidence. When the two are at war you have to decide which is right... the heart's feelings or the head's attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from a detached perspective, we can evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which one should lead us.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
About The Author
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and Business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from Home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her a
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