It's amazing to me how many people get up and go to work every day to an environment that makes them unhappy.

"My father and my grandfather before him worked here, so this is where I'm supposed to be." "I'm afraid if I leave, I won't get another job." "No one will hire me so this is what I have to do."

Last time I checked, life is supposed to be fun. It's filled with endless possibilities. This is America and we can do and be anything we want. Okay, that's a bit over the top, but it's not impossible to be happy at work. You can do it. It just takes a change in your perspective.

life is all about choice. We really do have a choice about how our lives are going at every moment. Often it just takes slowing down.

Here's a story about choice. A student went to live in a monastery. One of the rules of the monastery was that the students had to take a vow of silence to live there. But, once every ten years, the students were allowed to meet with the head monk and speak one sentence to him.

So the student of our story spends his first ten years in silence. The time comes to meet the head monk and say his one sentence. He goes to the monk and says, "The bed is hard." The monk smiles, and the student goes back to the monastery to study and pray.Ten more years go by. Again the student meets the monk and he says, "The food is lousy." The monk smiles, and the student returns to the monastery. Now it's thirty years later. Thirty years! The student meets with the monk and says, "I quit!" And the monk replies, "I'm not surprised. You've had a bad attitude since the first day you came here."

This story just goes to show that life is all about your point of view. The monk was just waiting for the student to quit, and the student was putting up with a less-than-ideal environment until he finally couldn't take it anymore.

How each of us feels and reacts throughout each day-throughout our entire lives, really-is what truly counts, not the story. Whining and moaning and groaning and being a victim is no fun for anyone to hear about. Are you the star in your own movie called life? Or are you the victim?

You can take turn your life around from dreading going to work every day to at least having it be more bearable; and eventually looking forward to getting up every day. I suggest four steps that form the acronym LARK: listen, ask, relax, kick.

L is for listen. Listen to what is coming out of your mouth during your day and what is said back to you. Are you or others around you using negative self talk, such as:

Mondays suck.

My nose is too big.

I never have enough money.

I deserve a raise.

That person is a pain in the neck.

I can never find a decent parking space.

I hate that driver in front of me.

Words really do have an effect on people. So does the feeling behind them. How many times have you smiled sweetly at someone as you said, "Of course I would be happy to do that for you," while secretly wishing they would trip on the carpet and break their arm as they walked across the room? Probably more times than you care to admit.

It takes some practice to really stop yourself from using negative words, so just try this in the beginning for one hour. Maybe write down every negative word or comment you say, and any that you hear. Look at the list at the end of the day. You might be surprised to discover how often people around you don't truly listen to what they are saying. The next day be more conscious about your choice of words and see what happens.

A is for ask for what you want. Too often we settle for less in our lives. Not only at work, but in our relationships with money, people, places and things. I find being willing to accept that we deserve whatever it is that we want to ask for is almost more painful than the asking. Many people have issues with self esteem. This holds people back for going for it in their lives. Fear of rejection is a common theme I've dealt with for years with people who've asked me advice on how to get that better paying job, or the new lover, or the money they want to take a vacation, or whatever. No matter what the desire might be, the key has always been not feeling deserving enough. Step out and ask. Every time you get a yes response, the next time will be easier.

R is for relax. I'm talking to those who work too much or give too much of their time to others right now. When was the last time you took a day off? Or started a hobby? Or just sat in a bath tub and did nothing for an hour? Stay at Home moms and caregivers are the worst offenders at doing for everyone, and having nothing left for them. If you don't take care of you, you can't adequately take care of anyone else.

When you get on an airplane, the flight attendants always go through the routine of showing you where the exits are, etc. They also tell you in case of a loss in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. They instruct those traveling with children to put the mask on first and then assist the child.

We all need to remember that we need to take care of ourselves first. Again, start small. Don't overpower your already engulfed world with a huge list of things you need to do to relax. That's not relaxing! Do something easy like taking a 30 minute walk. I recently started doing this every morning before having my Coffee, checking emails or reading the paper. This really energizes me and prepares me for my day.

Finally, the LARK ends with K for kindness; keep going; kick old habits, and keep laughing. Kindness is sometimes tough to find in the working world, especially if you work in a service industry, yet it's essential to your mental health and to the health of those around you. Instead of the old saying: "Kill them with kindness," I rather like, "Keep them alive with kindness." Try this turnabout on the old phrase and you'll find yourself starting to kick the old habits of putting yourself and others down with your words and actions.

If you truly love what you're doing, I believe the universe will bring to you people to share the laughter with. People will show up in your life to support you in kicking habits, if need be. I used to be terrible about doing some kind of daily exercise. I have a wonderful friend, Marcie, who lives on a golf course. Every night she walks around this course (the trail is about a mile long!), at dusk. If you've ever been on a golf course, you know that the surroundings are beautiful, with old trees, little ponds, and flowers everywhere.

Marcie has been my support in making sure I kick the habit of laziness and making me take that walk with her at least once a week. I highly encourage you to enlist people to help you in the areas that you need the most work. Actually, my walks with Marcie cover all the areas of this part of the LARK: I keep going, no matter what; kick the habit of being lazy; keep laughing as we talk on the walk; and I know I've been kind to myself by spending time with my friend and taking care of myself.

Try the LARK method and see how it works for you. You may end up the star in your own movie. In fact, I believe you already are the star. The question is this: is this a science fiction movie, action, adventure, romance or horror? You write the rules of your own life. It's up to you.