You may ask, "What are hot buttons anyway?"
Hot buttons are those that, when people push, you turn red and out comes the anger, resentment, insecurity, and other negative emotions you wish weren't a part of your life.
Remember the last time your boss made a comment about the project you completed? For some reason, his assessment just sent you through the roof. What about when your partner told you that you are gaining weight? Did you get upset and begin feeling insecure about your relationship? What if your manager or teacher doesn't spend much time talking with you? Do you feel less valued or respected?
Some people avoid these hot buttons being pushed by simply avoiding people. Unfortunately, avoiding people can often mean "avoiding" the opportunities that can potentially change our lives for the better.
If you want to reach your dream, be successful, enjoy your life and make a positive impact on others, you must be willing to confront the fact that you have certain hot buttons. Face them and deal with them!
Imagine walking into every situation and circumstance lacking a single hot button that could be pushed.
No matter how your opponents try to make you go crazy or drag you down, you remain untouched. Imagine your jealous co-worker's comments to your boss, trying to highlight your weaknesses immediately before you presenting an important proposal.
Though you heard your co-worker's words, you let them fall right in front of your eyes. You remained calm and confident. The comment had no power to activate a negative reaction in you. Instead, you go forward, delivering your wonderful, well-prepared presentation. And, toss a loving smile back at your co-worker.
Ridding yourself of hot buttons is a life-long process. Everyone would like to get to the place of having few buttons (Note, I said, "few buttons, not no-buttons."). Getting there is possible but requires faith, hope, persistence and patience.
One of my mentors is a man with very few buttons. When I asked him how he reached this place, he told me that he had consciously devoted efforts into working on getting rid of the past. This allowed him to move slowly into not allowing the past to have a hold on him. He then progressed to forgiving people, asking God for forgiveness and forgives himself daily. Once he forgives and accepts forgiveness, he blesses.
After releasing forgiveness, any voice that comes to remind him of people who wronged him or mistakes that he has made, he simply ignores the voice, starts blessing the people and blessing himself. (I think he is so wise in releasing blessings to himself. So often, we get so busy in blessing others and we forget this important step for ourselves.)
Hot buttons are usually created by unresolved matters.
There are 3 main types of unresolved matters - old ones, new ones and recurring ones.
Old Unresolved Matters
Trauma from childhood
Bad things you did in the past
Bad things that happened to you in the past
New Unresolved Matters
Recent happenings that you left without having a positive closure
(For example: You left your loved one without communicating why you did what you did.
You let go of an employee without telling the truth why you let him go.)
Recent bad things you did
Recent bad things other people did to you
Recurring Unresolved Matters
Patterns of similar bad happenings created by you or done to you.
All the things mentioned above which, if you don't face them, will never be resolved. Matters will continue to pile up. In order to control the situation, you will start lying, manipulating, playing the victim, getting angry over little things, spend time at work to avoid facing certain situations, and begin having addictions to escape from having good relationships with people.
Have you ever seen a runner trying to win the race with a 50 pounds iron chain wrapped around his body?
You are made to be a champion and a winner. If you feel the heavy weight, check to see if you have iron chains on you. They are not fitting for you. It is tim
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