The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex
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PART 7 TO YOUR SEXUAL health
In order to have amazing sex, you have to be responsible. Taking care of your sexual health is not only a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. This part will teach you what you need to know about birth control, sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, sexual self-exams, and what to expect when you visit a doctor for a sexual exam. Finally, this section explains all about sexual dysfunctions that you may have to cope with, as well as telling you how to find a sex therapist and what happens in sex therapy. Here's to your sexual health!
Crocodile dung, honey, carbonate of soda, sponges soaked in brandy—these are a few of the world's ancient forms of birth control, which were used as early as 1850 B.C. Of course, we know today that these methods are not effective. Today we have many advanced, very effective methods of birth control.
For thousands of years, millions of men and women have dreamed of living their lives free of the burdens of unintentional Pregnancy. Now, that freedom is a reality, as long as you use your chosen form of birth control consistently and correctly.
But the reality is, a high percentage of contraceptive failures occur not because a drug or device has failed, but because the user didn't use it properly. That's almost as bad as not bothering with contraceptives at all. You should know better! And you will, after you read this chapter. Take a deep breath, contraception seekers, because birth control is more than just a job—with all the choices offered these days, it's an adventure.
Asking Your Partner to Choose and Use
Don't ever assume that your partner has single-handedly shouldered the responsibility of protecting against pregnancy. Thinking that the other person must be taking care of birth control is not only insensitive, it's irresponsible, and may lead to your participating in a method that's not really the best for you, or worse, participating in an unplanned Pregnancy.
Although there's certainly no rule about how intense the birth control discussion should be—it can be as simple as “Let's use a condom!”—the conversation should come before you do. Sex is about intimacy, and communication is part of being intimate. Discussing birth control options before you have sex will help make the sexual experience more relaxed and pleasurable for you and your partner.
If you're not sure how to start the conversation about birth control with your partner, reread Chapter 5 of this book about talking about sex. Then, before you talk to your partner, get as much information as you can about your birth control options. This chapter should help give you the information you'll need.
Are There Ever “Safe” Times of the Month?
“Knowing” that you won't get pregnant when you have sex is not a safe form of birth control. But many people wonder: Aren't there ever “safe” times of the month to have sex without using hormonal or barrier methods of birth control? The answer is no.
If you're thinking that a woman can't get pregnant during her period, or when she thinks she's not ovulating, you're wrong. It is possible for a woman to get pregnant during her period. A woman gets pregnant when one of her eggs is ready to be fertilized by the man's sperm. When a woman is having her period, her body is supposed to be in between the times of the month when the egg is ready—that's why many people think that a woman can't get pregnant during her period.
To understand this better, it's important to know that a woman can get pregnant at any time during her cycle. Think of the first day of menstruation as Day 1 of the cycle. Most women's periods last until Day 5 or Day 7. The most likely time to get pregnant would be between Day 10 and Day 20, because that's when an egg is released inside a woman's body, ready to be fertilized by a sperm. Sperm, however, can live for up to 5 days inside a woman's body. So if sperm is inside her during or at the end of her
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period—let's say on Day 7—and her ovulation starts on Day 11, then it would be possible for the sperm to be alive and fertilize the egg. So, the woman could get pregnant. (For more information on this, refer to Chapter 8.) If you don't want to get pregnant, don't take any risks, ever. If you have sex, use birth control every time!
Choosing B
