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Tropic of Cancer[北回归线][En/Cn]

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第2节

大约到了凌晨三点菲尔莫蹒跚进来了……就他一个人。他喝得烂醉,敲得乱响,像一个瞎子,他在用裂开的拐杖探路。嗒、嗒、嗒,一路响着走过疲倦的小巷……“我这就去睡了,明天再跟你细说。”经过我身边时他说。他闯进里屋,扯下床罩,我听见他在叹息—“这样一个女人!这样一个女人!”不到一秒钟他又出来了,戴着帽子,手里提着裂了缝的手杖。“我早就知道会出这种事的。她疯了!”

About three in the morning Fillmore staggers in… alone. Lit up like an ocean liner, and making a noise like a blind man with his cracked cane. Tap, tap, tap, down the weary lane… "Going straight to bed," he says, as he marches past me. "Tell you all about it tomorrow." He goes inside to his room and throws back the covers. I hear him groaning – "what a woman! what a woman!" In a second he's out again, with his hat on and the cracked cane in his hand. "I knew something like that was going to happen. She's crazy!"


  他在厨房里翻腾了一阵,带着一瓶安如葡萄酒回到工作室里来,我只好坐起来和他干一杯。

He rummages around in the kitchen a while and then cames back to the studio with a bottle of Anjou. I have to sit up and down a glass with him.


  据我把故事连接起来的情况看,这整个事情源于香榭里舍大街的“邦德波威”,有一回他在回家的路上在那儿下车喝了一杯。和平时一样,这时露天咖啡座上坐满了老家伙,这一位正坐在小径上,面前摊着一棵小碟子。菲尔莫凑巧走过来同她视更多了。

As far as I can piece the story together the whole thing started at the Rond‑Point des Champs Elysées where he had dropped off for a drink on his way home. As usual at that hour the terrasse was crowded with buzzards. This one was sitting right on the aisle with a pile of saucers in front of her; she was getting drunk quietly all by herself when Fillmore happened along and caught her eye. "I'm drunk," she giggled, "won't you sit down?" And then, as though it were the most natural thing in the world to do, she began right off the bat with the yarn about her movie director, how he had given her the go‑by and how she had thrown herself in the Seine and so forth and so on. She couldn't remember any more which bridge it was, only that there was a crowd around when they fished her out of the water. Besides, she didn't see what difference it made which bridge she threw herself from – why did he ask such questions? She was laughing hysterically about it, and then suddenly she had a desire to be off – she wanted to dance. Seeing him hesitate she opens her bag impulsively and pulls out a hundred franc note. The next moment, however, she decided that a hundred francs wouldn't go very far. "Haven't you any money at all?" she said. No, he hadn't very much in his pocket, but he had a checkbook at Home. So they made a dash for the checkbook and then, of course, I had to happen in just as he was explaining to her the "No tickee, no shirtee" Business.


  一场舞刚跳了一半她突然走出舞场,眼泪涌出来。菲尔莫说,“怎么回事?这一回我又怎么了?”他出于本能马上把手放在背后,好像屁股仍在扭动似的。她说,“没什么,你什么也没干。好了,你是个好孩子。”说完,她又把他拉到舞场上开始狂跳起来,菲尔莫小声问,“可你究竟怎么了?”她又答道,“没什么。我看到了一个人,就这个。”然后她又猛然发脾气了—“你干吗要把我灌醉?你不知道喝醉酒后我会发疯?”

In the middle of a dance she suddenly walks off the floor, with tears in her eyes. "What's the matter?" he said, "what did I do this time?" And instinctively he put his hand to his backside, as though perhaps it might still be wiggling. "It's nothing," she said. "You didn't do anything. Come, you're a nice boy," and with that she drags him on to the floor again and begins to. dance with abandon. "But what's the matter with you?" he murmured. "It's nothing," she repeated. "I saw somebody, that's all." And then, with a sudden spurt of anger – "why do you get me drunk? Don't you know it makes me crazy?"


  她问,“你有支票吗?我们一定得离开这儿。”她把侍者叫过来,同他用俄语耳语了两句。“是真的支票吧?”侍者走开后她问。接着,她又冲动地吩咐,“在楼下衣帽问里等我,我得给人打个电话。”

"Have you got a check?" she says. "We must get out of here." She called the waiter over and whispered to him in Russian. "Is it a good check?" she asked, when the waiter had disappeared. And then, impulsively: "Wait for me downstairs in the cloakroom. I must telephone somebody."


  侍者送来我的零钱后菲尔莫悠闲自在地信步下楼来到衣帽问等她,他来回走动,轻声哼曲子、吹口哨、咂嘴预想着将要品尝的鱼子酱的滋味。五分钟过去了,十分钟过去了,他仍在轻声吹口哨。二十分钟过去了,公主仍未露面,菲尔莫这才起了疑心。衣帽间的侍者说她早走了,他冲出门,门口站着一个穿制服的黑鬼,咧着嘴大笑。黑鬼是否知道她跑到哪里去了?黑鬼笑了,黑鬼说,“我听见说库波勒饭店,没听见别的,先生!”

After the waiter had brought the change Fillmore sauntered leisurely downstairs to the cloakroom to wait for her. He strode up and down, humming and whistling softly, and smacking his lips in anticipation of the caviar to come. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. Still whistling softly. When twenty minutes had gone by and still no princess he at last grew suspicious. The cloakroom attendant said that she had left long ago. He dashed outside. There was a nigger in livery standing there with a big grin on his face. Did the nigger know where she had breezed to? Nigger grins. Nigger says: "Ah heerd Coupole, dassall sir!"


  在库波勒饭店一楼,他看到公主坐在一杯鸡尾酒前,脸上一副想入非非、恍恍馏熄的表情。看到他,她微笑了。

At the Coupole, downstairs, he finds her sitting in front of a cocktail with a dreamy, trancelike expression on her face. She smiles when she sees him.


  他说,“这样跑掉象话吗?你可以告诉我,说你根本不喜欢我……”

"Was that a decent thing to do," he says, "to run away like that? You might have told me that you didn't like me…"

 

听到这话她发火了,表演了一番,没完没了他说了许多之后呜呜大哭起来,鼻涕眼泪流了不少。她哭诉道,“我疯了,你也疯了。你想叫我跟你睡觉,可我不想跟你睡。”后来她又开始破口大骂她的情人,就是在舞场上看到的那个电影导演。这就是她不得不逃离那个地方的原因,这就是她每天晚上吸毒、喝醉酒的原因,这也是她纵身跳进塞纳河的原因。她这样唠唠叨叨地说自己有多么疯痴,突然又有了一个主意,“咱们到布里克托普的店里去!”她在那儿认得一个人……他以前曾答应帮她找个工作,肯定他会帮助她的。

She flared up at this, got theatrical about it. And after a lot of gushing she commenced to whine and slobber. "I'm crazy," she blubbered. "And you're crazy too. You want me to sleep with you, and I don't want to sleep with you." And then she began to rave about her lover, the movie director whom she had seen on the dance floor. That's why she had to run away from the place. That's why she took drugs and got drunk every night. That's why she threw herself in the Seine. She babbled on this way about how crazy she was and then suddenly she had an idea. "Let's go to Bricktop's!" There was a man there whom she knew… he had promised her a job once. She was certain he would help her.


  “那要花多少钱?”菲尔莫谨慎地问。

"What's it going to cost?" asked Fillmore cautiously.


  要花很多钱,她马上告诉他了。“不过听着,假如你带我去布里克托普那儿,我就答应跟你一起回家。”她挺老实,又补充说这也许会花掉他五六百法郎的。“可是我值这么多钱!你不明白我是怎样的一个女人。全巴黎再也找不到另外一个我这样的女人……”

It would cost a lot, she let him know that immediately. "But listen, if you take me to Bricktop's, I promise to go Home with you." She was honest enough to add that it might cost him five or six hundred francs. "But I'm worth it! You don't know what a woman I am. There isn't another woman like me in all Paris… "

 

“那只是你一厢情愿的想法!”菲尔莫的美国佬脾气完全表现出来。“我可不这么看,我看不出你值什么。你不过是一个可怜的、古怪的婊子。老实说,我宁愿给某一个穷酸的法国姑娘五十法郎,至少她们还给人一点儿报偿。”

"That's what you think!" His Yankee blood was coming to the fore. "But I don't see it. I don't see that you're worth anything. You're just a poor crazy son‑of‑a‑bitch. Frankly, I'd rather give fifty francs to some poor French girl; at least they give you something in return."


  他一提起法国姑娘她便暴跳如雷。“别对我说起这些女人!我恨她们!她们愚蠢……她们丑……她们全是为了钱。我告诉你,别说了!” 

She hit the ceiling when he mentioned the French girls. "Don't talk to me about those women! I hate them! They're stupid… they're ugly… they're mercenary. Stop it, I tell you!"

  
  不到一分钟她的气又消了,她又想出一个新花招。她喃喃道,“亲爱的,你还不知道我脱光了是什么样呢。我美极了!”说着她用双手托着两只乳房。

In a moment she had subsided again. She was on a new tack. "Darling," she murmured, "you don't know what I look like when I'm undressed. I'm beautiful!" And she held her breasts with her two hands.


  然而菲尔莫不为所动,他冷冷他说,“你这个婊子!我并不在乎在你身上花几百法郎,不过你太古怪。你甚至连脸都没有洗,你嘴里有股臭味,我才不管你是不是公主呢……我并不要你的神气活现的俄国花样,你该上街去推销。你并不比哪一个法国小姑娘强,你甚至还不如她们,我不会再在你身上花一个苏了。你该到美国去,那儿才是你这种吸血鬼呆的地方……”

But Fillmore remained unimpressed. "You're a bitch!" he said coldly. "I wouldn't mind spending a few hundred francs on you, but you're crazy. You haven't even washed your face. Your breath stinks. I don't give a damn whether you're a princess or not… I don't want any of your high‑assed Russian variety. You ought to get out in the street and hustle for it. You're no better than any little French girl. You're not as good. I wouldn't piss away another sou on you. You ought to go to America – that's the place for a bloodsucking leech like you…"

 

他这番活好像一点儿也没有使她生气,她说,“我想你有点儿怕我。”

She didn't seem to be at all put out by this speech. "I think you're just a little afraid of me," she said.

 


  “怕你?你?”

"Afraid of you? Of you?"


  她说,“你还是个小孩子呢,你没有一点儿礼貌。等你更了解我以后就不会这样说了……你干吗不学着对我好一点儿?如果你今晚不想跟我一同去,悉听尊便。明天五点到七点间我在‘圆顶’等你,我喜欢你。”
 "You're just a little boy," she said. "You have no manners. When you know me better you will talk differently… Why don't you try to be nice? If you don't want to go with me tonight, very well. I will be at the Rond‑Point tomorrow between five and seven. I like you."

 

 “可我明天不打算去‘圆顶’,哪一天晚上也不去!我不想再见到你了……永远不想。咱俩一刀两断了,我要到街上找一个漂亮的法国小姑娘,滚你的蛋吧!”

"I don't intend to be at the Rond‑Point tomorrow, or any other night! I don't want to see you again… ever. I'm through with you. I'm going out and find myself a nice little French girl. You can go to hell!"


  她瞧瞧他,疲乏地微笑了,“你现在这样说。等着瞧!等你跟我睡过以后再说,你还不知道我的身体有多么美呢。你以为法国姑娘懂得怎样做爱……等着瞧吧!我要叫你为我发狂。我喜欢你,只是你太野蛮。你还是个孩子。话太多……”

She looked at him and smiled wearily. "That's what you say now. But wait! Wait until you've slept with me. You don't know yet what a beautiful body I have. You think the French girls know how to make love… wait! I will make you crazy about me. I like you. Only you're uncivilized. You're just a boy. You talk too much…"

 

“你疯了,”菲尔莫说。“天下女人都死光了我也不会爱上你,回家去洗洗脸吧。”说完他不付酒钱就走了。

"You're crazy," said Fillmore. "I wouldn't fall for you if you were the last woman on earth. Go Home and wash your face." He walked off without paying for the drinks.


  不过没几天公主便就范了,她真的是一位公主,对此我们确信无疑,只是有淋玻总之,这儿的生活一点也不枯燥,菲尔莫患有支气管炎,正如我所说的,公主有淋病,而我有痔疮。

In a few days, however, the princess was installed. She's a genuine princess, of that we're pretty certain. But she has the clap. Anyway, life is far from dull here. Fillmore has bronchitis, the princess, as I was saying, has the clap, and I have the piles.


  我在马路对面的俄国杂货店里退掉了六个空酒瓶子,我一滴也不曾喝下肚。没有肉,没有酒,没有肥野味,也没有女人,只有水果和石蜡油、碘酒和肾上腺素油膏。这个鬼地方没有一把椅子是坐着舒服的。现在,瞧着公主我自觉身份大增,像一个巴沙一样。这个词的发音使我联想到她的名字,玛莎。这个名字并不很贵族化,令我又联想起《活尸》。

Just exchanged six empty bottles at the Russian épicerie across the way. Not a drop went down my gullet. No meat, no wine, no rich game, no women. Only fruit and paraffin oil, arnica drops and adrenalin ointment. And not a chair in the joint that's comfortable enough. Right now, looking at the princess, I'm propped up like a pasha. Pasha! That reminds me of her name: Macha. Doesn't sound so damned aristocratic to me. Reminds me of The Living Corpse.


  起初我以为三人同居会令人尴尬,可是一点儿也不。看到她搬进来,我以为自己又要倒霉了,以为得另找个地方住了,可是菲尔莫很快就叫我明白他只是暂时收留她,到她能自立时为止,我不明白“自立”这样一个词用在这样一个女人身上是指什么,照我看她一辈子都是头朝下倒立的。她说是革命迫使她离开俄国的,我敢肯定,若没有这场革命她也会被赶出国的。她自以为自己是一个了不起的演员,不论她说什么我们也不反驳她,那么做完全是浪费时间。菲尔莫觉得她很好笑。早上去上班前菲尔莫在她枕头上扔下十法郎,在我的枕头上也扔下十法郎。到了晚上我们三个一起去楼下的俄国餐馆吃饭。附近住着很多俄国人,玛莎已经找到了一家可赊点儿帐的饭馆。一天十法郎对于一位公主自然是微不足道的,她不时想吃鱼子酱、喝香槟,还需要满满一柜新衣服以便重新在电影界找一份工作。现在她无事可做,只是消磨时间而已,她开始发胖了。

At first I thought it was going to be embarrassing, a ménage à trois, but not at all. I thought when I saw her move in that it was all up with me again, that I should have to find another place, but Fillmore soon gave me to understand that he was only putting her up until she got on her feet. With a woman like her I don't know what an expression like that means; as far as I can see she's been standing on her head all her life. She says the revolution drove her out of Russia, but I'm sure if it hadn't been the revolution it would have been something else. She's under the impression that she's a great actress, we never contradict her in anything she says because it's time wasted. Fillmore finds her amusing. When he leaves for the office in the morning he drops ten francs on her pillow and ten francs on mine; at night the three of us go to the Russian restaurant down below. The neighborhood is full of Russians and Macha has already found a place where she can run up a little credit. Naturally ten francs a day isn't anything for a princess; she wants caviar now and then and champagne, and she needs a complete new wardrobe in order to get a job in the movies again. She has nothing to do now except to kill time. She's putting on fat.


  今天早晨我吓了一跳。洗完脸后我错拿了她的毛巾,看来我们无法教她学会把毛巾挂在她自己的钩子上。为此我狠狠训斥了她一顿,她却平静地答道,“亲爱的,如果一个人这样就会瞎掉,那么多少年前我早就瞎掉了。”

This morning I had quite a fright. After I had washed my face I grabbed her towel by mistake. We can't seem to train her to put her towel on the right hook. And when I bawled her out for it she answered smoothly: "My dear, if one can become blind from that I would have been blind years ago."


  还有马桶,我们都得用,我试图以父亲般的口吻向她解释马桶上的坐垫圈会传染玻她却说,“哼,得了!如果你们这么怕,我就找一家咖啡馆去上厕所。”我向她解释,那样做并没有必要,只要采取一般的预防措施就行了。她说,“喷,喷,我不往下坐就是了……我站着。”

And then there's the toilet, which we all have to use. I try speaking to her in a fatherly way about the toilet seat. "Oh zut!" she says. "If you are so afraid I'll go to a café." But it's not necessary to do that, I explain. Just use ordinary precautions. "Tut tut!" she says, "I won't sit down then… I'll stand up."


  有了她一切都变得十分荒谬,她先是不肯就范,因为来了月经。这一拖就是八天,我们开始以为她是在装蒜,可是她并没有装。有一天,正在收拾房间,我发现床下有些药棉,上面还沾着血。她把所有的东西都扔在床底下:桔子皮、卫生巾、瓶塞、空瓶子、剪刀、用过的避孕套、书、枕头……她只在要睡觉时才整理床,她花去大部分时间躺在床上看俄文报纸。她对我说,“亲爱的,若不是要去买报,我根本就不起床。”这话说得对极了!她什么也不看,只看俄文报纸,身边连一点手纸都没有,没有可擦屁股的东西,除了俄文报纸。

Everything is cockeyed with her around. First she wouldn't come across because she had the monthlies. For eight days that lasted. We were beginning to think she was faking it. But no, she wasn't faking. One day, when I was trying to put the place in order, I found some cotton batting under the bed and it was stained with blood. With her everything goes under the bed: orange peel, wadding, corks, empty bottles, scissors, used condoms, books, pillows… She makes the bed only when it's time to retire. Most of the time she lies abed reading her Russian papers. "My dear," she says to me, "if it weren't for my papers I wouldn't get out of bed at all." That's it precisely! Nothing but Russian newspapers. Not a scratch of toilet paper around – nothing but Russian newspapers with which to wipe your ass.


  说来她的怪癖也真怪,待她的月经完了,休息好了,腰里也长了一圈膘,她仍不肯就范。她假装只喜欢女人,要她接受一个男人就得先恰到好处地刺激刺激她。她要我们带她去一家妓院,他们在那儿表演人与狗交媾的把戏。她说勒达同天鹅交更好。天鹅一拍翅膀就使她兴奋异常。

Anyway, speaking of her idiosyncrasies, after the menstrual flow was over, after she had rested properly and put a nice layer of fat around her belt, still she wouldn't come across. Pretended that she only liked women. To take on a man she had to first be properly stimulated. Wanted us to take her to a bawdy house where they put on the dog and man act. Or better still, she said, would be Leda and the swan: the flapping of the wings excited her terribly.


  一天晚上,为了查明她究竟更喜欢什么,我们陪她来到一个她提出要去的窑子。不等我们找到机会向鸨母提及这个话题,一个坐在邻桌旁喝醉了的英国人同我们攀谈起来。他已经上了两次楼,还想再试一回。他口袋里大约只有二十法郎,而且不懂法语,他问我们肯不肯代劳,跟他看上的那个姑娘讲价钱。这个姑娘正巧是个黑鬼,是来自马提尼克岛的一个力大无比的婊子,漂亮得犹如一只豹子,而且性情也很可爱。为了说服她收下英国人剩下的那几个钱,菲尔莫只得答应等她跟英国人一睡完自己就接着跟她睡。公主在一旁看着,听清了每一句话,然后便勃然大怒,她觉得受了侮辱。菲尔莫说,“得了,是你要找点儿刺激的—你看着我干好了!”可她并不想看他干,她只想看一只公鸭子干。于是菲尔莫说,“老天在上,我哪一天也比得上一只公鸭子……也许还强些哩。”就这样斗了一阵嘴,最后为了抚慰玛莎我们只得叫过来一个姑娘,由她俩去互相逗弄……菲尔莫同黑鬼回来了,玛莎眼中直冒火。从菲尔莫望着黑女人的样子我就可看出她一定身手不凡,于是自己也感到欲火中烧。

One night, to test her out, we accompanied her to a place that she suggested. But before we had a chance to broach the subject to the madam, a drunken Englishman, who was sitting at the next table, fell into a conversation with us. He had already been upstairs twice but he wanted another try at it. He had only about twenty francs in his pocket, and not knowing any French, he asked us if we would help him to bargain with the girl he had his eye on. Happened she was a Negress, a powerful wench from Martinique, and beautiful as a panther. Had a lovely disposition too. In order to persuade her to accept the Englishman's remaining sous, Fillmore had to promise to go with her himself soon as she got through with the Englishman. The princess looked on, heard everything that was said, and then got on her high horse. She was insulted. "Well," said Fillmore, "you wanted some excitement – you can watch me do it!" She didn't want to watch him – she wanted to watch a drake. "Well, by Jesus," he said, "I'm as good as a drake any day… maybe a little better." Like that, one word led to another, and finally the only way we could appease her was to call one of the girls over and let them tickle each other… When Fillmore came back with the Negress her eyes were smoldering. I could see from the way Fillmore looked at her that she must have given an unusual performance and I began to feel lecherous myself.

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