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Tropic of Cancer[北回归线][En/Cn]

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第2节

第二天我找到了她,她住在拉丁区。一弄明白我是谁她便变得非常友好,她自称叫吉乃特,块头很大、消瘦、健康,有一颗门牙崩落了一半,是那种农家女的外貌。她精力充沛,眼神中流露出狂躁的意味。她做的头一件事便是哭,然后,想起我是她的“乔乔”的老朋友—她就是这样叫他的—她便跑下楼去拿来几瓶白葡萄酒。她要我留下同她一道吃饭,她执意要这样。喝了酒后她一阵高兴,一阵伤感。根本什么也不用问,她自己就像一部自动上发条的机器一样说开了。最使她担忧的是—待他们放他出院后,他能重新去工作吗?她说她父母很有钱,不过生她的气,不赞成她放纵无忌的行为。他们尤其不喜欢菲尔莫,他没有礼貌,又是一个美国人。她恳求我宽她的心,说他仍能回去工作的,我便毫不犹豫地照办了。然后她又恳求我讲讲她能否信他的话,即他要娶她。现在肚子里有个孩子,又得了性病,她已不可能再嫁给一个法国人了。这是显而易见的,是不是?当然,我宽慰她道。这一切我都清楚极了,只是有一点,菲尔莫怎么居然会爱上了她。不过一次只能做一件事情,我的职责是安慰她,于是我就给她讲了一大通胡说八道的话,说一切都会好的,而且我还要作他们孩子的教父呢,等等。这时我才猛地想起这件事很古怪—她竟还要这个孩子,尤其是他可能一生下来就是瞎子。我尽量委婉地告诉她这话,她却说,“这并没有什么关系,我要一个跟他生的孩子。”

The next day I looked her up. She was living in the Latin Quarter. As soon as she realized who I was she became exceedingly cordial. Ginette she called herself. Rather big, raw-boned, healthy, peasant type with a front tooth half eaten away. Full of vitality and a kind of crazy fire in her eyes. The first thing she did was to weep. Then, seeing that I was an old friend of her Jo‑Jo – that was how she called him – she ran downstairs and brought back a couple of bottles of white wine. I was to stay and have dinner with her – she insisted on it. As she drank she became by turns gay and maudlin. I didn't have to ask her any questions – she went on like a self-winding machine. The thing that worried her principally was – would he get his job back when he was released from the hospital? She said her parents were well off, but they were displeased with her. They didn't approve of her wild ways. They didn't approve of him particularly – he had no manners, and he was an American. She begged me to assure her that he would get his job back, which I did without hesitation. And then she begged me to know if she could believe what he said – that he was going to marry her. Because now, with a child under her belt, and a dose of clap besides, she was in no position to strike a match – with a Frenchman anyway. That was clear, wasn't it? Of course, I assured her. It was all clear as hell to me – except how in Christ's name Fillmore had ever fallen for her. However, one thing at a time. It was my duty now to comfort her, and so I just filled her up with a lot of baloney, told her everything would turn out all right and that I would stand godfather to the child, etc. Then suddenly it struck me as strange that she should have the child at all – especially as it was likely to be born blind. I told her that as tactfully as I could. "It doesn't make any difference," she said, "I want a child by him."


  “哪怕他是瞎子?”我又问。

"Even if it's blind?" I asked.


  “我的天呀,别说这些了!”她呻吟道,“别说这些了!”

"Mon Dieu, ne dites pas ça!" she groaned. "Ne dites pas ça!"


  我仍然认为讲明这一点是我的职责,她便像一头海象一样猛哭开了,又倒了一些酒。过了才几分钟她又纵情大笑,她笑是因为想起了他俩上床后常常打架。她说,“他喜欢我跟他打架,他是个野人。”

Just the same, I felt it was my duty to say it. She got hysterical and began to weep like a walrus, poured out more wine. In a few moments she was laughing boisterously. She was laughing to think how they used to fight when they got in bed. "He liked me to fight with him," she said. "He was a brute."


  我们坐下来正吃饭,吉乃特的一个朋友进来了。她是一个小婊子,住在大厅顶端。吉乃特马上打发我下楼再去取些酒,待我回来,她俩已经把该谈的都谈到了。她的朋友—这位伊韦特—在警察局工作。据我推测,她是一个向警方提供情况的线民,至少她试图叫我相信是这样的。显然她不过是一个小婊子,只是对警方和他们的工作很着迷罢了。吃饭时她俩一直竭力劝我陪她们去参加一场风笛舞会,她们想快活一下—“乔乔”住进了医院,吉乃特很寂寞。我告诉她们我得去上班,不过晚上不当班时我会来带她们出去玩的。同时也讲明了,我没有钱可花在她们身上。吉乃特一听这个大为惊愕,不过假意说那一点儿关系也没有。只是为了显示她是一个多么讲交情的人,她竟执意要雇一部车子送我去上班,她这样做是因为我是“乔乔”的朋友,那么也就是她的朋友啦。我暗想,“还有呢,一旦你的‘乔乔’出了什么问题,你就会飞快地跑来找我。那时候你就会明白我是一个怎样的朋友了!”我对她殷勤备至,我们在办公室前下车后,我还听任她们劝我一起又喝了最后一杯茴香酒。伊韦特问我,她能否在我下班后来找我,她说有很多事情要同我私下谈,但是我设法在不伤害她感情的前提下拒绝了,遗憾的是我不够警惕,还是把住址告诉她了。

As we sat down to eat, a friend of hers walked in – a little tart who lived at the end of the hall. Ginette immediately sent me down to get some more wine. When I came back they had evidently had a good talk. Her friend, Yvette, worked in the police department. A sort of stool pigeon, as far as I could gather. At least that was what she was trying to make me believe. It was fairly obvious that she was just a little whore. But she had an obsession about the police and their doings. Throughout the meal they were urging me to accompany them to a bat musette. They wanted to have a gay time – it was so lonely for Ginette with Jo‑Jo in the hospital. I told them I had to work, but that on my night off I'd come back and take them out. I made it clear too that I had no dough to spend on them. Ginette, who was really thunderstruck to hear this, pretended that that didn't matter in the least. In fact, just to show what a good sport she was, she insisted on driving me to work in a cab. She was doing it because I was a friend of Jo‑Jo's. And therefore I was a friend of hers. "And also," thought I to myself, "if anything goes wrong with your Jo‑Jo you'll come to me on the double‑quick. Then you'll see what a friend I can be!" I was as nice as pie to her. In fact when we got out of the cab in front of the office, I permitted them to persuade me into having a final Pernod together. Yvette wanted to know if she couldn't call for me after work. She had a lot of things to tell me in confidence, she said. But I managed to refuse without hurting her feelings. Unfortunately I did unbend sufficiently to give her my address.


  虽说遗憾,可实际上后来想起来我倒很高兴自己这样做了,因为紧接着第二天就出事了。第二天,我还没有起床她俩就来了。“乔乔”被人移出了医院,他们把他囚禁在乡下一所邪庄园”里了,离巴黎只有几英里。他们叫它“庄园”,这是“疯人院”的一种礼貌说法。她俩叫我马上穿好衣服跟她们走,她们惊恐不安。

Unfortunately, I say. As a matter of fact, I'm rather glad of it when I think back on it. Because the very next day things began to happen. The very next day, before I had even gotten out of bed, the two of them called on me. Jo‑Jo had been removed from the hospital – they had incarcerated him in a little château in the country, just a few miles out of Paris. The château, they called it. A polite way of saying "the bughouse." They wanted me to get dressed immediately and go with them. They were in a panic.


  也许我本可以独自一人去的,可我只是拿不定主意是否要跟这两个女人一起去。我叫她们在楼下等我穿好衣服就来,心想这样可以利用这段时间找一个不去的借口。可是她们不肯离开房间,她们坐着看我洗脸穿衣,就像天天都是如此似的。正穿了一半,卡尔闯进来了。我把情况用英语简单告诉了他,然后我们编造出一个借口,说我有要紧的工作要做。为了蒙混过关,我们端进来一些甜酒,并给她们看一本有淫秽图画的书解闷。伊韦特早已完全放弃了去庄园的想法,她同卡尔处得非常好,到了动身的时候,卡尔便决定陪她们一起去。他认为看看菲尔莫同一大群疯子一起走来走去很好玩,他还想看看疯人院里是什么样子的,于是他们走了,带着几分醉意,情绪非常高昂。

Perhaps I might have gone alone – but I just couldn't make up my mind to go with these two. I asked them to wait for me downstairs while I got dressed, thinking that it would give me time to invent some excuse for not going. But they wouldn't leave the room. They sat there and watched me wash and dress, just as if it were an everyday affair. In the midst of it, Carl popped in. I gave him the situation briefly in English, and then we hatched up an excuse that I had some important work to do. However, to smooth things over, we got some wine in and we began to amuse them by showing them a book of dirty drawings. Yvette had already lost all desire to go to the château. She and Carl were getting along famously. When it came time to go Carl decided to accompany them to the château. He thought it would be funny to see Fillmore walking around with a lot of nuts. He wanted to see what it was like in the nuthouse. So off they went, somewhat pickled, and in the best of humor.


  菲尔莫住在庄园里时我自始至终没有去看过他。这没有必要,因为吉乃特定期去看他,也就把情况全转告我了。据她说,医生们认为有希望在几个月内使他恢复理智,他们认为他是酒精中毒,除此之外没有什么。当然,他有性病,不过那并不难治。就他们所知,他并没有染上梅毒,这还算不错。于是他们先从使用洗胃器着手,把他体内彻底清洗了一遍。有一阵子他身体太弱,无法起床。他的心情也很沮丧,他说并不想治愈,他想死。他执拗地不断重复这番废话,后来他们都惊慌起来。我想,假如他自杀了,对他们医院的名声可并不好。总之他们开始给他采用精神治疗,还利用治疗间歇期间拔他的牙齿,越拔越多,直到他口中一颗牙也没有了。他们原指望此后他会感觉好些,可是奇怪的是他竟不觉得好,反倒比以往更加消沉,还开始掉头发。最后他变成了一个偏执狂,指责他们做了种种坏事,质问他们有什么权利把他扣留起来、他究竟做了什么竟被关起来,等等。经过一段可怕的消沉之后他会突然变得精力充沛,威胁说他们如果还不放了他,他就要炸掉这个地方。对吉乃特来说,更糟的是他已完全摆脱了要娶她的念头。他直截了当地对她说,他不想娶她,假如她疯了,去生下一个孩子来,那么她自己就应该能养活他。

All the time that Fillmore was at the château I never once went to see him. It wasn't necessary, because Ginette visited him regularly and gave me all the news. They had hopes of bringing him around in a few months, so she said. They thought it was alcoholic poisoning – nothing more. Of course, he had a dose – but that wasn't difficult to remedy. So far as they could see, he didn't have syphilis. That was something. So, to begin with, they used the stomach pump on him. They cleaned his system out thoroughly. He was so weak for a while that he couldn't get out of bed. He was depressed, too. He said he didn't want to be cured – he wanted to die. And he kept repeating this nonsense so insistently that finally they grew alarmed. I suppose it wouldn't have been a very good recommendation if he had committed suicide. Anyway, they began to give him mental treatment. And in between times they pulled out his teeth, more and more of them, until he didn't have a tooth left in his head. He was supposed to feel fine after that, yet strangely he didn't. He became more despondent than ever. And then his hair began to fall out. Finally he developed a paranoid streak – began to accuse them of all sorts of things, demanded to know by what right he was being detained, what he had done to warrant being locked up, etc. After a terrible fit of despondency he would suddenly become energetic and threaten to blow up the place if they didn't release him. And to make it worse, as far as Ginette was concerned, he had gotten all over his notion of marrying her. He told her straight up and down that he had no intention of marrying her, and that if she was crazy enough to go and have a child then she could support it herself.


  医生们解释说,这一切都是好迹象,他们说他快好了。当然,吉乃特却认为他比以往更疯癫了,不过她在为他祈祷,希望他快出院,这样她就能带他到乡下去走走,那儿闲适、宁静,会使他恢复理智。与此同时,吉乃特的父母来到巴黎看女儿,他们还到庄园来看望了未来的女婿。他们以自己的狡黠方式大概也算计出女儿嫁一个疯丈夫也总比没有丈夫好,当爹的认为他能替菲尔莫在农场里找点儿活干,他说菲尔莫毕竟还不算坏。等他从吉乃特那儿听说菲尔莫的父母有钱,便更加宽容、更加通情达理了。

The doctors interpreted all this as a good sign. They said he was coming round. Ginette, of course, thought he was crazier than ever, but she was praying for him to be released so that she could take him to the country where it would be quiet and peaceful and where he would come to his right senses. Meanwhile her parents had come to Paris on a visit and had even gone so far as to visit the future son‑in‑law at the château. In their canny way they had probably figured it out that it would be better for their daughter to have a crazy husband than no husband at all. The father thought he could find something for Fillmore to do on the farm. He said that Fillmore wasn't such a bad chap at all. When he learned from Ginette that Fillmore's parents had money he became even more indulgent, more understanding.


  事情发展得十分顺利。吉乃特同她父母一起回到外省住了一阵,伊韦特则定期到旅馆来看望卡尔。她以为卡尔是这家报纸的编辑,后来一点点地吐露了很多秘密。有一天她玩痛快了,喝醉了,便告诉我们吉乃特从来不过只是一个婊子,一个吸血鬼,还说吉乃特从未怀过孕,而且现在也未曾怀孕。对于其他指责我和卡尔不大怀疑,不过对于吉乃特没有怀孕这一说我们不大有把握。

The thing was working itself out nicely all around. Ginette returned to the provinces for a while with her parents. Yvette was coming regularly to the hotel to see Carl. She thought he was the editor of the paper. And little by little she became more confidential. When she got good and tight one day, she informed us that Ginette had never been anything but a whore, that Ginette was a bloodsucker, that Ginette never had been pregnant and was not pregnant now. About the other accusations we hadn't much doubt, Carl and I, but about not being pregnant, that we weren't so sure of.


  卡尔问,“那么她的肚子怎么会那么大?”

"How did she get such a big stomach, then?" asked Carl.


  伊韦特笑了,“也许用自行车打气筒打气来着。”她又补充道,“真的没有怀孕,大肚子是喝酒喝出来的。吉乃特喝起酒来简直是牛饮,等她从乡下回来你们会看到她会更肥。她父亲是酒鬼,她也是酒鬼。也许她会得上淋病,不过并没有怀孕。”

Yvette laughed. "Maybe she uses a bicycle pump," she said. "No, seriously," she added, "the stomach comes from drink. She drinks like a fish, Ginette. When she comes back from the country, you will see, she will be blown up still more. Her father is a drunkard. Ginette is a drunkard. Maybe she had the clap, yes – but she is not pregnant."


  “可是她为什么想嫁给菲尔莫?是不是真爱上他了?”

"But why does she want to marry him? Is she really in love with him?"


  “爱!呸!吉乃特毫无心肝,她只想找个人照看她。没有一个法国人会娶她,她在警察局里挂了号。她想嫁给他是因为他太蠢,没有去查查她的底细。她的父母不想再要她了,她给他们丢尽了人。不过若是她能嫁给一个有钱的美国人,一切都妥了……你们以为也许她有点儿爱他,嗯?你们不了解她,他们在旅馆里同居的时候,她就乘他去上班之际带别的男人到她房间里去。他吝啬,她穿的那件皮衣—她告诉他是她父母送给她的,对吗?天真的傻瓜!哼,我曾看到她带一个男人到旅馆里来,当时菲尔莫还正在旅馆里。她带这个男人去了下面一层,这是我亲眼看到的。那是怎样一个男人啊!一个老流浪汉,已不可能勃起了!”

"Love? Pfooh! She has no heart, Ginette. She wants someone to look after her. No Frenchman would ever marry her – she has a police record. No, she wants him because he's too stupid to find out about her. Her parents don't want her any more – she's a disgrace to them. But if she can get married to a rich American, then everything will be all right… You think maybe she loves him a little, eh? You don't know her. When they were living together at the hotel, she had men coming to her room while he was at work. She said he didn't give her enough spending money. He was stingy. That fur she wore – she told him her parents had given it to her, didn't she? Innocent fool! Why, I've seen her bring a man back to the hotel right while he was there. She brought the man to the floor below. I saw it with my own eyes. And what a man! An old derelict. He couldn't get an erection!"


  如果菲尔莫从庄园里放出来后回到巴黎,或许我会给他通通有关吉乃特的消息。在他仍处于医生的观察下时,我认为用伊韦特的诽谤毒化他的脑筋、使他不愉快是不妥的。结果,他从庄园直接去了吉乃特父母的家。在那里,尽管他不太愿意,还是受骗公布了他的订婚。当地的报纸都登载了结婚预告,还为女方家的朋友们举行了招待会。菲尔莫利用这个机会采取各种办法逃避,他很清楚自己在干什么,却装出仍有点痴呆的样子。 比如说,他会借来岳父的汽车,独自一个在乡间到处乱闯。若是看到一个他喜欢的镇子便住下尽情玩乐一番,直到吉乃特来找他。有时他也同岳父一起出去,也许是钓鱼,然后就一连好几天听不到他们的行踪。他变得任性而又难以讨好,真叫人恼火。我猜他是算计着也许仍能从中尽量捞一把。

If Fillmore, when he was released from the château, had returned to Paris, perhaps I might have tipped him off about his Ginette. While he was still under observation I didn't think it well to upset him by poisoning his mind with Yvette's slanders. As things turned out, he went directly from the château to the Home of Ginette's parents. There, despite himself, he was inveigled into making public his engagement. The banns were published in the local papers and a reception was given to the friends of the family. Fillmore took advantage of the situation to indulge in all sorts of escapades. Though he knew quite well what he was doing he pretended to be still a little daffy. He would borrow his father‑in‑law's car, for example, and tear about the countryside all by himself; if he saw a town that he liked he would plank himself down and have a good time until Ginette came searching for him. Sometimes the father‑in‑law and he would go off together – on a Fishing trip, presumably – and nothing would be heard of them for days. He became exasperatingly capricious and exacting. I suppose he figured he might as well get what he could out of it.

  
  他同吉乃特回到巴黎时又有了一衣柜簇新的衣服和一袋钱,他显得又开心又健康,皮肤也晒黑了。我觉得他显得十分健壮,可是我们一离开吉乃特他便开口了。他的工作丢了,钱也花光了,他们大约在一个月内结婚,在这段时间内由女方父母给他们钱花。菲尔莫说,“一旦他们牢牢控制住我,我就只能成为他们的奴隶了。她爹打算为我开一家文具店,吉乃特应付顾客,干收钱这类事,我坐在店后面写东西或干别的。你能想象得出我坐在一家文具店后面度过余生的情景吗?吉乃特认为这个主意妙极了,她喜欢经手钱,我倒宁愿回到庄园里去也不想听从这种安排。”

When he returned to Paris with Ginette he had a complete new wardrobe and a pocketful of dough. He looked cheerful and healthy, and had a fine coat of tan. He looked sound as a berry to me. But as soon as we had gotten away from Ginette he opened up. His job was gone and his money had all run out. In a month or so they were to be married. Meanwhile the parents were supplying the dough. "Once they've got me properly in their clutches," he said, "I'll be nothing but a slave to them. The father thinks he's going to open up a stationery store for me. Ginette will handle the customers, take in the money, etc., while I sit in the back of the store and write – or something. Can you picture me sitting in the back of a stationery store for the rest of my life? Ginette thinks it's an excellent idea. She likes to handle money. I'd rather go back to the château than submit to such a scheme."


  当然,他眼下不得不假装对一切都十分满意。我试着劝他回美国去,可他不听,说不能被一群无知的乡巴佬从法国赶走。 他有一个想法,想溜走一段时间,然后再在巴黎某个偏僻的地方住下来,在那儿他不大可能会遇见她。但是我们很快就认为那不可能,在法国无法像在美国那样藏起来。

For the time being, of course, he was pretending that everything was hunky‑dory. I tried to persuade him to go back to America but he wouldn't hear of that. He said he wasn't going to be driven out of France by a lot of ignorant peasants. He had an idea that he would slip out of sight for a while and then take up quarters in some outlying section of the city where he'd not be likely to stumble upon her. But we soon decided that that was impossible: you can't hide away in France as you can in America.


  我提议说,“你可以到比利时去呆一段时间。”

"You could go to Belgium for a while," I suggested.


  他马上反驳说,“我干什么挣钱呢?在那些鬼国家里是找不到工作的。”

"But what'll I do for money?" he said promptly. "You can't get a job in these goddamned countries."


  我又问,“那么你干吗不先跟她结婚,然后再离婚?”

"Why don't you marry her and get a divorce, then?" I asked.


  “她马上就要养孩子了。谁来照料孩子呢,嗯?”

"And meanwhile she'll be dropping a kid. Who's going to take care of the kid, eh?"


  我说,“你怎么知道她要生孩子了?”我觉得道出这个秘密的时机现在已成熟。

"How do you know she's going to have a kid?" I said, determined now that the moment had come to spill the beans.


  “我怎么会知道?”他似乎并不很明白我在暗示什么。

"How do I know?" he said. He didn't quite seem to know what I was insinuating.


  我把伊韦特说的向他透露了一点儿,他略有几分惊慌地听我说,最后打断了我的话。他说,“再说也无益,我知道她要生孩子了。没错,我摸到他在她肚子里踢腾呢。伊韦特是个卑鄙的小娼妇,你瞧,我并不想告诉你这个,不过直到去住院之前我仍给伊韦特钱。后来出了那件事,我便无法再为她做什么了。我觉得自己已经为她俩做得够多的了……我要先照顾自己。这使伊韦特很恼火,她告诉吉乃特说她要跟我算帐……不,我希望她说的是真的,那样我就能比较容易地从这件事情中脱身了。现在我已中了圈套,我许诺要娶她,也就只好走完这个过程了。此后我也不知道会怎样,他们现在已经牢牢掌握住我了。”

I gave him an inkling of what Yvette had said. He listened to me in complete bewilderment. Finally he interrupted me. "It's no use going on with that," he said. "I know she's going to have a kid, all right. I've felt it kicking around inside. Yvette's a dirty little slut. You see, I didn't want to tell you, but up until the time I went to the hospital I was shelling out for Yvette too. Then when the crash came I couldn't do any more for her. I figured out that I had done enough for the both of them… I made up my mind to look after myself first. That made Yvette sore. She told Ginette that she was going to get even with me… No, I wish it were true, what she said. Then I could get out of this thing more easily. Now I'm in a trap. I've promised to marry her and I'll have to go through with it. After that I don't know what'll happen to me. They've got me by the balls now."

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