Meditations
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or a fine orator; but as a ripe mature man, a perfect sound man;
one that could not endure to be flattered; able to govern
both himself and others. Moreover, how much he did honour all
true philosophers, without upbraiding those that were not so;
his sociableness, his gracious and delightful conversation,
but never unto satiety; his care of his body within bounds
and measure, not as one that desired to live long, or over-studious
of neatness, and elegancy; and yet not as one that did not
regard it: so that through his own care and providence,
he seldom needed any inward physic, or outward applications:
but especially how ingeniously he would yield to any that
had obtained any peculiar faculty, as either eloquence,
or the knowledge of the laws, or of ancient customs,
or the like; and how he concurred with them, in his best
care and endeavour that every one of them might in his kind,
for that wherein he excelled, be regarded and esteemed:
and although he did all things carefully after the ancient
customs of his forefathers, yet even of this was he not desirous
that men should take notice, that he did imitate ancient customs.
Again, how he was not easily moved and tossed up and down,
but loved to be constant, both in the same places and Businesses;
and how after his great fits of headache he would return fresh
and vigorous to his wonted affairs. Again, that secrets he neither
had many, nor often, and such only as concerned public matters:
his discretion and moderation, in exhibiting of the public
sights and shows for the pleasure and pastime of the people:
in public buildings. congiaries, and the like. In all these things,
having a respect unto men only as men, and to the equity of
the things themselves, and not unto the glory that might follow.
Never wont to use the baths at unseasonable hours; no builder;
never curious, or solicitous, either about his meat,
or about the workmanship, or colour of his clothes,
or about anything that belonged to external beauty.
In all his conversation, far from all inhumanity,
all boldness, and incivility, all greediness and impetuosity;
never doing anything with such earnestness, and intention,
that a man could say of him, that he did sweat about it:
but contrariwise, all things distinctly, as at leisure;
without trouble; orderly, soundly, and agreeably. A man might have
applied that to him, which is recorded of Socrates, that he knew
how to want, and to enjoy those things, in the want whereof,
most men show themselves weak; and in the fruition, intemperate:
but to hold out firm and constant, and to keep within
the compass of true moderation and sobriety in either estate,
is proper to a man, who hath a perfect and invincible soul;
such as he showed himself in the sickness of Maximus.
XIV. From the gods I received that I had good grandfathers,
and parents, a good sister, good masters, good domestics,
loving kinsmen, almost all that I have; and that I never
through haste and rashness transgressed against any of them,
notwithstanding that my disposition was such, as that such a thing
(if occasion had been) might very well have been committed by me,
but that It was the mercy of the gods, to prevent such a concurring
of matters and occasions, as might make me to incur this blame.
That I was not long brought up by the concubine of my father;
that I preserved the flower of my youth. That I took not upon me
to be a man before my time, but rather put it off longer than I needed.
That I lived under the government of my lord and father,
who would take away from me all pride and vainglory, and reduce me
to that conceit and opinion that it was not impossible for a prince
to live in the court without a troop of guards and followers,
extraordinary apparel, such and such torches and statues, and other
like particulars of state and magnificence; but that a man may reduce
and contract himself almost to the state of a private man, and yet
for all that not to become the more base and remiss in those public
matters and affairs, wherein power and authority is requisite.
That I have had such a brother, who by his own example might stir
me up to think of myself; and by his respect and love, delight and
please me. That I have got ingenuous children, and that they
were not born distorted, nor with any other natural deformity.
That I was no great proficient in the study of rhetoric and poetry,
and of other faculties, which perchance I might have dwelt upon,
if I had found myself to go on in them with success.
That I did by times prefer those, by whom I was brought up, to such
places and dignities, which they seemed unto me most to desire;
and that I did not put them off with hope and expectation, that
(since that they were yet but young) I would do the same hereafter.
That I ever knew Apollonius and Rusticus, and Maximus.
That I have had occasion often and effectually to consider and meditate
with&nbs
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