The History of John Bull
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selling broadcloth, sometimes measuring linen; next day he would be
dealing in merceryware. High heads, ribbons, gloves, fans, and lace
he understood to a nicety. Charles Mather could not bubble a young
beau better with a toy; nay, he would descend even to the selling of
tape, garters, and shoe-buckles. When shop was shut up he would go
about the neighbourhood and earn half-a-crown by teaching the young
men and maids to dance. By these methods he had acquired immense
riches, which he used to squander* away at back-sword,
quarter-staff, and cudgel-play, in which he took great pleasure, and
challenged all the country. You will say it is no wonder if Bull
and Frog should be jealous of this fellow. "It is not impossible,"
says Frog to Bull, "but this old rogue will take the management of
the young lord's Business into his hands; besides, the rascal has
good ware, and will serve him as cheap as anybody. In that case, I
leave you to judge what must become of us and our families; we must
starve, or turn journeyman to old Lewis Baboon. Therefore,
neighbour, I hold it advisable that we write to young Lord Strutt to
know the bottom of this matter."
* The character and trade of the French nation.
** The King's disposition to war.
CHAPTER III. A Copy of Bull and Frog's Letter to Lord Strutt.
My Lord,--I suppose your lordship knows that the Bulls and the Frogs
have served the Lord Strutts with all sorts of draperyware time out
of mind. And whereas we are jealous, not without reason, that your
lordship intends henceforth to buy of your grandsire old Lewis
Baboon, this is to inform your lordship that this proceeding does
not suit with the circumstances of our families, who have lived and
made a good figure in the world by the generosity of the Lord
Strutts. Therefore we think fit to acquaint your lordship that you
must find sufficient security to us, our heirs, and assigns that you
will not employ Lewis Baboon, or else we will take our remedy at
law, clap an action upon you of 2O,OOO pounds for old debts, seize
and distrain your goods and chattels, which, considering your
lordship's circumstances, will plunge you into difficulties, from
which it will not be easy to extricate yourself. Therefore we hope,
when your lordship has better considered on it, you will comply with
the desire of
Your loving friends,
JOHN BULL,
NIC. FROG.
Some of Bull's friends advised him to take gentler methods with the
young lord, but John naturally loved rough play. It is impossible
to express the surprise of the Lord Strutt upon the receipt of this
letter. He was not flush in ready either to go to law or clear old
debts, neither could he find good bail. He offered to bring matters
to a friendly accommodation, and promised, upon his word of honour,
that he would not change his drapers; but all to no purpose, for
Bull and Frog saw clearly that old Lewis would have the cheating of
him.
CHAPTER IV. How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about
the premises, and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen.
All endeavours of accommodation between Lord Strutt and his drapers
proved vain. Jealousies increased, and, indeed, it was rumoured
abroad that Lord Strutt had bespoke his new liveries of old Lewis
Baboon. This coming to Mrs. Bull's ears, when John Bull came Home,
he found all his family in an uproar. Mrs. Bull, you must know, was
very apt to be choleric. "You sot," says she, "you loiter about
alehouses and taverns, spend your time at billiards, ninepins, or
puppet-shows, or flaunt about the streets in your new gilt chariot,
never minding me nor your numerous family. Don't you hear how Lord
Strutt has bespoke his liveries at Lewis Baboon's shop? Don't you
see how that old fox steals away your customers, and turns you out
of your Business every day, and you sit like an idle drone, with
your hands in your pockets? Fie upon it. Up man, rouse thyself;
I'll sell to my shift before I'll be so used by that knave."* You
must think Mrs. Bull had been pretty well tuned up by Frog, who
chimed in with her learned harangue. No further delay now, but to
counsel learned in the law they go, who unanimously assured them
both of justice and infallible success of their lawsuit.
* The sentiments and addresses of the Parliament at that time.
I told you before that old Lewis Baboon was a sort of a
Jack-of-all-trades, which made the rest of the tradesmen jealous, as
well as Bull and Frog; they hearing of the quarrel, were glad of an
opportunity of joining against old Lewis Baboon, provided that Bull
and Frog would bear the charges of the suit. Even&
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