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写给牙套的一封信:牙套,你快把我折磨疯了

kira86 于2019-04-03发布 l 已有人浏览
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写给牙套的一封信,全文虽然在抱怨牙套,但行文却十分轻松幽默。
    小E英语欢迎您,请点击播放按钮开始播放……

10牙套.jpg
10 My Retainer Has Me Bent out of Shape

牙套,你把我气疯了

(By Hana Jang)

(哈娜·

Dear Retainers,

亲爱的牙套:

Why are you torturing me? I thought you were supposed to be keeping my teeth straight with the benefit of no braces ! Yet I wake up every morning to see that my overbite is slowly coming back and the rows of teeth aren't aligned . Do you have any idea what I went through to get you? Now I don't think you're even helping me anymore.

你为什么要折磨我?你原本以为你可以让我的牙不用牙箍就能竖直整齐了!可是我每天早上醒来却只看到我牙齿的覆咬合部分在慢慢变回老样子,而上下两排牙却仍然对不齐。你可知道我花了多大工夫才把你装上?可现在,我觉得你对我半点用处都没有。

First of all, I wasted two precious years of my life waiting for your arrival. Those braces were murder on my teeth. You didn't experience the pain I had to go through! Almost every week, I replaced my old wires, got a tighter one with a chain of rubber bands, and an additional two rubber bands to fix my overbite. By getting braces, I had the "wonderful" opportunity to choose from a wide variety of soups. The categories stretched from tomato soup to clam chowder to delicious mushroom soup. For two years, 104 weeks, 728 days, soup became more than 90 percent of my diet. What do I have to show for my sacrifice? The object in repayment for my hurt is a hunk of plastic that doesn't really aid me in any way.

首先,为了等待你的到来,我浪费了两年的宝贵时间。在那两年里,那些牙箍简直快杀了我的牙。你肯定没尝过那些我不得不忍受的痛苦吧。几乎是每周,我都要用带有橡胶圈的更紧的钢丝来换掉旧的,同时要用另外两条橡皮圈来修正我的牙齿覆咬合部分。戴牙箍使我有了“难得”的机会来品尝各种汤。我喝过的汤品种齐全——从西红柿汤到蛤杂烩汤再到鲜美的蘑菇汤都有。两年,一百零四周,七百二十八天!我百分之九十的食物都是汤。我做出的牺牲难道还不够吗? 可我这些痛苦付出所换来的回报又是什么?仅仅是一大块对我没有任何帮助的塑料。

I will admit that you kept my teeth in order for a few months. However, recently I think you're snoozing on the job. After brushing my teeth and slipping you on, I see that you don't even fit correctly over my teeth anymore. During some nights, you don't even stay on the whole time. I wake up some days and feel nothing in my mouth. Then I have to take more time to thoroughly search my bed to see where you've hidden yourself. Do you realize how frustrated I am?

是的,我承认,你是让我的牙齿规矩了几个月。但在最近,我怀疑你是不是在上班时间打盹儿了。每次刷牙后把你放进去,我都发现你甚至和我的牙齿一点都不吻合了。有些晚上,你甚至不能坚守岗 位。许多次早上醒来时,我都发现嘴里空空如也,然后就需要花更多的时间把床上搜个遍,看你到底躲在哪儿了。你知道那个时候,我有多受挫吗?

Don't even get me started on how you affect my language. If I were to say this sentence: "Can you pass me the bottle of water?" it would come out sounding like, "Ken you peth me the ball of wudu?" Now I don't even attempt saying words like rewind, reconnect, replay or anything else that starts with "re". In general, you steal my ability to talk efficiently. In math class, I stand up in front of the students trying to explain a math equation , but do you know what comes out of my mouth? It's just a string of mumbled words and I have to use all my strength enunciating the repeated explanation. The ridicule I get from my friends is almost unbearable. My ears practically ache when I hear them mimicking my incorrect pronunciation. I can't stand it anymore!

更不要让我提你有多影响我说话。比如我想说:“请您把那瓶水递给我好吗?”结果听起来就会像“欺你扒那喷雪吉给我好吗?”我现在都不想尝试说像“重绕”“重连接”“重放”之类的以“重”开头的词了。总之,你让我说话变得不再流利。数学课上,我想在同学们面前解释一个数学方程式,但你知道从我嘴里说出来的是什么吗?是一串含糊不清的词语,而我需要用尽吃奶的力气去清楚发音并重复解释。朋友们对我的嘲笑简直让我无法忍受。每次听到他们模仿我不准确的发 音,我都觉得特别刺耳。我再也受不了了!

You better shape up or I'll have to take action. I won't allow this kind of insolence anymore. I wash you, clean you and take care of you, yet this is how you repay me? I don't understand why it's so difficult for you to do something for me in return. If this continues, I'll be forced to replace you with something better.

你最好规矩些,不然我可要收拾你了。我不能再容忍这种傲慢无礼的行为了。我洗刷、清理、照顾你,而你就这么来回报我?真不明白,为什么让你做些事情回报我会这么难。如果你继续顽固不化,我就只好用更好的东西来取代你了。

Wanting some changes.

望你有所改变。

Hana

哈娜

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