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让人无法拒绝的邮件 英语商务写作指南

jo19870724 于2013-08-25发布 l 已有人浏览
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维吉尼亚都快抓狂了。为什么就没有一个人回复邮件呢?

你会写邮件吗:让人无法拒绝的邮件.jpg

Virginia was ready to pull out her hair. Why wasn't anyone responding to her email?
维吉尼亚都快抓狂了。为什么就没有一个人回复邮件呢?

As the director of training for a global professional services firm, she'd recently sent out a note explaining important changes to the summer training schedule and asking office directors to respond with their preferred locations. But only a few had done so. Training was a huge priority for her firm, so why were they ignoring her request?
维吉尼亚是一家国际专业服务公司的培训主管。最近,为了说明暑期培训方案上的一些重要调整,她发了邮件向其他主管征询培训地点的意见。但只有少数几个人回复了她的邮件。培训是公司的重头戏,这些人为什么如此无视她的邮件呢?

Corporate employees receive and send more than 100 emails a day on average, according to tracking sites like Pingdom and Radicati. Competition for attention is fierce. So, no matter your title or department, you need to master electronic messaging to get your job done.
根据Pingdom以及Radicati等跟踪网站的统计,公司员工每天大概平均收发100多封邮件。因此,如何让邮件脱颖而出就显得尤为重要。这样说来,不管你担任什么职位或在哪个部门,为了保证工作顺利完成,都有必要学会如何发送电子邮件。

Luckily, crafting emails in a way that encourages people to read and act on them is relatively easy. You just have to apply some age-old techniques of persuasion.
某种程度上讲,有特色的邮件更能激发人们阅读并采取行动。你要做的只是稍微应用一下那些老生常谈的说服技巧就行。

Before you start typing, consider:
写邮件前,请先考虑:

The objective. What do you want to achieve with this email? Is your purpose to inform? Request input? Ask for help?
目的:你写这封邮件想要达到什么目的?你是要发出通知、要求回应,还是寻求帮助?

What-who-when. Your objective will inform the message, including what to write, who should receive it and when to send it. Also think about whether it should come from you, or someone with more seniority.
何时何人何事:你的目的就是邮件内容,包括具体信息、收件人和发送时间。另外,想好发件人应该是你本人还是你的上司。

Visual logic. Clear structure and typographical signalling will boost the odds that your reader will get your message quickly and respond in ways that meet your goal.
逻辑清晰:清晰的结构和重点标记更容易让人迅速理解邮件内容,并按你的要求作出答复。

Let's look at Virginia's original, unrequited email.
让我们来看下维吉尼亚先前无人回应的邮件。

To: Blue Corp Office Directors
From: Virginia Brown, Training Director
Date: Friday, May 30, 2013
Time: 5 p.m.
Subject: New Hire Training

收件人:Blue公司各位主管
发件人:维吉尼亚-布朗,培训主管
日 期:2013年5月30日,星期五
时 间:下午5:00
主 题:新员工培训

Dear Colleagues,
I'm writing to let you know about significant changes to our new hire training schedule. Instead of running training from August 15 - 20th at our New York location, we'll be hosting regional trainings in New York, San Francisco and Cincinnati on three different dates. And we'll be bringing our best trainers to every location. For those office directors with new hires, we'd like to hear which training location you prefer and how many new hires you'll be sending. If for some reason the timing, which will be August 10-14th in NYC, 15-19th in SF and 20-24th in Cincinnati, doesn't work, please contact my assistant, Francine Nordell at x2345, and we'll see if there is enough demand for a make-up session. We need to put the calendar for training together by June 30th, so please get back to me by June 15th. I think you'll be pleased with our new approach and your new hires will benefit tremendously from getting to know a smaller group of colleagues as they participate in the training.
Best,
Virginia

各位同事,
我来通知一下公司新员工培训方案上的重要调整。以前都是从8月15-20日在纽约进行培训的,现在改成分三个时间段、分别在纽约、旧金山和辛辛那提进行。当然,公司会给每个培训点安排最好的培训师。如果各位主管手下有新员工,希望能告诉公司您所倾向的培训地点以及将要派往参加培训的新员工人数。现定时间分别是:纽约—8月10-14日,旧金山—8月15-19日,辛辛那提—8月20-24日。如果时间上有问题,请拨打x2345联系我的助理,我们会尽量作出后补安排。培训日程表需要在6月30日前敲定,所以请在6月15日前给我答复。我认为各位应该会喜欢这个新方案,而且新员工也将通过培训了解同事、有所收获。
致意,
维吉尼亚

Virginia's message isn't long, but it's a muddle of mixed signals. Her opening line sounds like her goal is to inform office directors of a new approach to training. But in reality she's requesting input: preferred training locations. That's hard to quickly recognize, and the urgency isn't clear.
维吉尼亚的邮件并不长,但信息却乱作一团。首句听上去好像是她本人在向各位主管发号培训新方案的通知似的,而事实上她是要征询主管们对培训地点的意见。邮件真正的目的很难一眼看出,所以最重要的事情没有得到清晰表述。

There are several things she can do to better telegraph her intent, thereby prompting a better response:
如果稍作调整,她或许就能写出更好的邮件,也能收到更多答复了:

Put the subject line to work. Most of us already use our subject line to predict the "what," e.g. "Re monthly financials." But it's also the place to build a personal bridge: "Re monthly financials, per Peter's request," and to indicate urgency: "Re monthly financials, per Peter's request. Need feedback by Tuesday."
用好标题栏。很多人已经学会直接用标题说明目的了,例如:“关于月度财务问题”。不过,标题也可包含个人信息,例如:“关于月度财务问题—应彼得要求”;标题还可以强调紧急性,例如:“关于月度财务问题—应彼得要求—周二前必须答复”。

Visually highlight the key message. Structure your email so the most important request or information is at the top, then put it in bold. This may seem like a, "duh," but people often "bury the lede", as journalists like to say, several paragraphs down. If you are sending to multiple readers, also bold the names of anyone you address directly, so they immediately connect to content that's relevant to them. If you're making multiple points, use indentations and numbers or bullets.
标记重点信息。将邮件结构化,把重要信息加粗放在开头。有些人表示不屑,但他们也常犯“先次后主”的毛病,像新闻写作那样把重点隐在几段之后。如果收件人很多,你也应该把需要强调的人名标记出来,这样当事人一眼就能知道该段信息跟自己有关了。如果信息点比较多,那就首行缩进、加标号或项目符号。

Use links to go deep; voting buttons to get answers. If you want someone to act on your email then make it concise and jargon-free. Use links to let readers go deeper or access forms, and voting buttons to get folks to sign up.
引用链接说明详细信息,设置按钮征询答复。如果你希望别人回复你的邮件,那就请写得言简意赅一些。采用超链接来说明具体信息,设置按钮让对方点击答复。

Time the delivery for maximum impact. Never send an email at the end of the day or the start of a weekend. Make sure people are opening it at a time when they're at their desks and have time to read it.
恰当选择发送时间。不要在快下班或周末时发送邮件。发送邮件要趁收件人办公的时候,确保他有时间查看邮件。

Add clout by having a superior co-sign. We may be moving into a less hierarchical work world, but the boss's name still gets attention. If you need help, ask for it.
引用上司的联合署名加以强调。当今职场或许不再那么阶级分明,但上司名字的威力也还是不容小觑的。若有需要,但用无妨。

Leave the ball in the reader's court. If you want people to get back to you or take action, make sure you put the request in bold as well. Make clear what you need from them.
让收件人无法忽视。如果你希望收件人给予答复或采取行动,那就特别标记出你的要求,明确表明你希望他该怎么做吧。

Let's apply this to Virginia's email.
现在我们运用以上技巧来修改维吉尼亚的邮件:

To: Blue Corp Office Directors
From: Gordon Boss, SVP Human Resources and Virginia Brown, Training Director
Date: Thursday, May 29, 2013
Time: 9 a.m.
Subject: Need Your Site Registration for New Hire Training by June 15th

收件人:Blue公司各位主管
发件人:戈登老板(人力资源部高级副总裁),维吉尼亚-布朗(培训主管)
日 期:2013年5月29日
时 间:上午9:00
主题:各位对新员工培训地点的建议—请6月15日前答复

Dear Colleagues,
We are converting from national to regional sites for our new-hire training and offering three dates. We need you to register your trainees for a venue by June 15th to accommodate all. Please click on one of the following sites to register and enter the number of trainees.
New York: August 10-14
San Francisco: August 15-19
Cincinnati: August 20-24
If the timing doesn't work, please contact my assistant, Francine Nordell at x2345, who will gauge demand for a make-up session.
We'll be sending our best trainers to all locations. We anticipate that getting to know a smaller group of colleagues will strengthen relationships and spark collaboration.
Thanks in advance for registering.
Best,
Virginia

各位同事,
公司现在把新员工培训地点从全国范围改成了地区范围,时间也改成了三个阶段。请你们在6月15日前提交参加培训的新员工名单和培训地点。新员工登记和报数请点击以下网址。
纽约:8月10-14日
旧金山:8月15-19日
辛辛那提:8月20-24日
如果时间有冲突,请拨打x2345联系我的助理佛朗西娜-诺戴尔,她会尽量作出后补安排。
公司会给所有培训地点安排最好的培训师。公司认为,通过接触部分同事,新员工能加强人际关系并培养协作能力。
谢谢各位配合登记。 
致意,
维吉尼亚

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