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翻译赏析:张培基英译散文赏析之《鸟巢》(一)

yun 于2017-01-01发布 l 已有人浏览
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肖凤,女,1937年生,原名赵凤翔,北京人。著名传记作家。

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鸟巢   The Bird’s Nest

肖凤   Xiao Feng

水泥浇铸成的塔楼和板楼,鳞次栉比,远远望去,仿佛是陡峭垂直的群山,构成了大城市的独特风景线。然而它们的造型,僵硬呆板,不像大自然的山峦,鬼斧神工,有着美妙的线条,蕴含着迷人的神韵。

Rows of cement tower buildings and prefabs, looking from afar like groups of steep mountains, are a unique sight in big cities. They are stiff and stereotyped in form, unlike real mountains which a masterwork of nature with beautiful lines and implicit enchanting grace.

要点:
1,“水泥浇铸成的塔楼和板楼,鳞次栉比”译为Rows of cement tower buildings and prefabs,其中用rows 或rows upon row意即“一个挨着一个”,表达鳞次栉比
2,“水泥浇成的”可译为cement 或cement- poured,因为“水泥”和“混凝土”基本相同,也可以用concrete-poured代替
3,“板楼”指“预制板房屋”,译为prefabs,即prefabricated buildings
4,“鬼斧神工,有着美妙的线条”两分句意义相同,取其一翻译即可
综述:
开篇就有很多四字词,足以显示原作的文学性~


不过,生活在北京市的平民百姓,如果能够在这灰色的或者绿色的,或者别的什么颜色的高楼里,拥有一个属于自己的空间,不论是大是小,只要它是独立的,能够无拘无束地生活着,也就满足了。

Nevertheless, the common people of Beijing will be content with housing accommodation, big or small, in a high-rise of gray, green or any other color, where they can enjoy the ease and privacy of their own home.

要点:
1,整个段落的主干为“生活在北京市的百姓(对居住环境)感到满足,不论是…还是…”因此译为the common people of Beijing will be content with housing accommodation…
2,“独立的,能够无拘无束地生活”译者按“不受干扰地,自由自在地生活”译为they can enjoy the ease and privacy of…,其中privacy作“不受干扰”或“独处”解,ease作“自由自在”解
综述:
整个段落只表达了一个意思,因此注意本段组织句子的手法


有时走在马路上,仰首遥望居住的那座楼宇,找到第17层那几扇属于自己和自己亲人的窗户,就觉得那个叫作“家”的地方,其实更像一个“鸟巢”。因为它方方正正,像一个匣子,虽然它被夹在第16层与第18层之间,却总是觉得它好像是被高高地吊在半空中,上不着天,下不着地。作为人类的家园,它似乎是太高了一点儿。

Sometimes, while strolling in the street, I raise my head to gaze far ahead at the building where I live. As I identify the windows of my family on the 17th floor, I realize what we call our “home” is in fact more like a “bird’s nest”. It’s cubical like a box. Sandwiched in between the 16th and 18th floor, it’s still like something hanging high up in midair, touching neither the sky nor the earth. Apparently, it’s a bit too high for a human domicile.

要点:
1,“虽然它被夹在第16层与第18层之间”译为Sandwiched in between the 16th and 18th floor,其中sandwhich意即“插入; 把…夹在…之间; 挤在…中间; 把…夹在面包片中”,此处使用可谓是生动形象~


因此常常羡慕鸟儿,它们能够自由自在地飞翔,如果它们把巢筑在第17层上面,也能舒展开自己的双翼,款款地飞回去。而且还能站在自己的巢里,优哉游哉地鸟瞰人群。可是我没有翅膀,如果我要回到自己的“鸟巢”,必须借助楼里的电梯。而电梯又受制于电的有无,或有没有故障(它常有故障),以及开电梯的小姐是否坐在岗位上。不像鸟儿那般自由,一切由它自己做主,想要出门就出门,想要归巢就归巢。

Therefore, I often envy birds their ability to fly freely. If they had a nest built on the 17th floor of our building, they could also fly back to it light-heartedly and then stand enjoying a leisurely view of crowds milling about in the streets. But, unfortunately, I have no wings. So I have to use the elevator in the building to get back to my “nest”. And, mind you, that depends upon the uninterrupted supply of electric power, the trouble-free condition of the elevator (which often has troubles) and the presence of the girl elevator operator on duty. Unlike birds, I can’t always act as I think fit, leaving or coming back to my “nest” freely as I please.

要点:
1,“也能舒展开自己的双翼,款款地飞回去”意即“也能轻松愉快地飞回去”译为hey could also fly back to it light-heartedly
2,“还能站在自己的巢里,优哉游哉地鸟瞰人群”译为and then stand enjoying a leisurely view of crowds milling about in the streets.其中milling about in the streets 意即 “在街上转来转去”是译者增译的部分,更加突出了“优哉游哉”的状态
3,“而电梯又受制于电的有无”译为And, mind you, that depends upon the uninterrupted supply of electric power…,mind you是增益部分,用以增加全文语气
4,“想要出门就出门,想要归巢就归巢”是典型的中式句式,而且还是很口语化的,需要我们进行整合,即“出门和回家都随自己高兴”,译为leaving or coming back to my “nest” freely as I please
综述:
本段有一些典型中式的句子,注意转换和整合~


【文章来源:沪江英语】

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