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Tropic of Cancer  北回归线-第三章第一节

Sunday! Left the Villa Borghese a little before noon, just as Boris was getting ready to sit down to lunch. I left out of a sense of delicacy, because it really pains Boris to see me sitting there in the studio with an empty belly. Why he doesn't invite me to lunch with him I don't know. He says he can't afford it, but that's no excuse. Anyway, I'm delicate about it. If it pains him to eat alone in my presence it would probably pain him more to share his meal with me. It's not my place to pry into his secret affairs.

星期日!快到中午时我离开了波勒兹别墅,当时鲍里斯正准备坐下来吃饭,我离开是出于自觉,因为鲍里斯看到我空着肚子坐在工作室里的确会过意不去。我不知道他为什么不请我同他一道吃午饭,他说请不起,可那不过是借口。反正我是出于自觉,假如他当着我的面独自享用会不好受,那么,同我分享他也许会更加难受。我无权去探究他的隐秘。

Dropped in at the Cronstadts' and they were eating too. A young chicken with wild rice. Pretended that I had eaten already, but I could have torn the chicken from the baby's hands. This is not just false modesty – it's a kind of perversion, I'm thinking. Twice they asked me if I wouldn't join them. No! No! Wouldn't even accept a cup of coffee after the meal. I'm delicat, I am! On the way out I cast a lingering glance at the bones lying on the baby's plate – there was still meat on them.

来到克朗斯塔特家,他们也正在吃饭,一只野米炖小鸡。我假装已吃过了,可我简直想劈手把鸡从那娃娃手中夺过来。我想我这还不是故作羞怯,这是一种反常心理。他们两次问我愿不愿同他们一起吃。不!不!我连饭后的那杯咖啡也不愿喝。我很自觉、很自觉!出门时我恋恋不舍地瞥了一眼那娃娃盘子里的鸡骨头—上面还有肉呢。

Prowling around aimlessly. A beautiful day – so far. The Rue de Buci is alive, crawling. The bars wide open and the curbs lined with bicycles. All the meat and vegetable markets are in full swing. Arms loaded with truck bandaged in newspapers. A fine Catholic Sunday – in the morning, at least.

我漫无目的地四处闲逛。到现在为止天气不错,比西街上挤满了慢腾腾走路的行人,酒吧大门敞开,路边摆着自行车。所有的肉市、菜市上都很热闹,人人胳膊上挎着裹在报纸里的蔬菜。这是一个美妙的天主教星期日—至少早晨是这样。

High noon and here I am standing on an empty belly at the confluence of all these crooked lanes that reek with the odor of food. Opposite me is the Hôtel de Louisiane. A grim old hostelry known to the bad boys of the Rue de Bud in the good old days. Hotels and food, and I'm walking about like a leper with crabs gnawing at my entrails. On Sunday mornings there's a fever in the streets. Nothing like it anywhere, except perhaps on the East Side, or down around Chatham Square. The Rue de l'Echaudé is seething. The streets twist and turn, at every angle a fresh hive of activity. Long queues of people with vegetables under their arms, turning in here and there with crisp, sparkling appetites. Nothing but food, food, food. Makes one delirious.

正午时分,我饿着肚子站在所有这些弥漫着食物香味的小巷交汇处,对面是路易斯安娜旅馆。那是一座阴森的旧旅馆,在从前的美好日子里比西街的坏小子们都知道这儿。旅馆和食物,而我像一个坐卧不宁的麻风病人一样走来走去。星期天早上街上有股狂热劲儿,别处没有这种情形,除了纽约的曼哈顿东区或查塔姆广常艾尚德街在沸腾,这些街东扭西拐,每个拐弯处都聚着闹哄哄的一群人。一长列一长列拎着菜的人胃口大开、饥肠辘辘,他们四处窜来窜去,什么都没有,只有食物、食物、食物。简直叫人发狂。

Pass the Square de Furstenberg. Looks different now, at high noon. The other night when I passed by it was deserted, bleak, spectral. In the middle of the square four black trees that have not yet begun to blossom. Intellectual trees, nourished by the paving stones. Like T. S. Eliot's verse. Here, by God, if Marie Laurencin ever brought her Lesbians out into the open, would be the place for them to commune. Très lesbienne ici. Sterile, hybrid, dry as Boris' heart.

我经过弗斯滕伯格广场,它又是另一番面貌。那天晚上我打这儿经过时广场上空无一人,凄凄凉凉,森森然吓人。广场中央有四棵尚未开花的海榄雄树,这是一种有智能的树,从铺路石中汲取养分,像艾略特的诗。老天爷在上,如果玛丽•洛朗森愿把她的同性恋女伴带到光天化日之下,这儿便是她们亲热的好地方。这儿全是搞同性恋的女人。不育,杂种,冷冰冰的像鲍里斯的心。

In the little garden adjoining the Eglise St. Germain are a few dismounted gargoyles. Monsters that jut forward with a terrifying plunge. On the benches other monsters – old people, idiots, cripples, epileptics. Snoozing there quietly, waiting for the dinner bell to ring. At the Galerie Zak across the way some imbecile has made a picture of the cosmos – on the flat. A painter's cosmos! Full of odds and ends, bric a-brac. In the lower left-hand corner, however, there's an anchor – and a dinner bell. Salute! Salute! O Cosmos!

圣日尔曼教堂旁边的小花园里有几只拆下来的奇形怪状的雕像,这几个怪物凶相毕露地随时准备扑上来。坐在长椅上的是另外一些怪物—老人、白痴、跛子和癫痫病人,他们在那儿安安静静地打盹,等着开饭铃响。在马路对面的泽可艺术馆里,一个蠢货画了一幅宇宙的画儿—画在平面上。一个画家的宇宙!尽是一些零零碎碎的玩艺儿、一些小古董。在画的左下角竟然画了一只锚和一只吃饭钟。敬礼!敬礼!啊,宇宙!

Still prowling around. Mid afternoon. Guts rattling. Beginning to rain now. Notre-Dame rises tomblike from the water. The gargoyles lean far out over the lace façade. They hang there like an idée fixe in the mind of a monomaniac. An old man with yellow whiskers approaches me. Has some Jaworski nonsense in his hand. Comes up to me with his head thrown back and the rain splashing in his face turns the golden sands to mud. Bookstore with some of Raoul Dufy's drawings in the window. Drawings of charwomen with rosebushes between their legs. A treatise on the philosophy of Joan Miró. The philosophy, mind you!

到了下午三点左右我仍在游荡,肚子饿得咕咕叫。又下开了雨,圣母院在雨中朦胧如一座坟墓。滴水嘴从建筑物正面顶上远远伸出,它们悬在那儿,像一个偏执狂人心中的固执见解。一个长着黄色连鬓胡子的老人走近我,他手里拿着贾沃斯基的一本胡说八道的书。他朝我走过来时头向后昂着,雨水打在他的脸上,金沙色的胡子变成了稀泥。书店橱窗里挂着拉乌尔•迪菲的几幅画,画上尽是大腿间插着玫瑰树枝的女仆,还有论及琼•米若哲学的专论。听仔细了,哲学!

In the same window: A Man Cut in Slices! Chapter one: the man in the eyes of his family. Chapter two: the same in the eyes of his mistress. Chapter three: – No chapter three. Have to come back tomorrow for chapters three and four. Every day the window trimmer turns a fresh page. A man cut in slices… You can't imagine how furious I am not to have thought of a title like that! Where is this bloke who writes "the same in the eyes of his mistress … the same in the eyes of… the same …?" Where is this guy? Who is he? I want to hug him. I wish to Christ I had had brains enough to think of a title like that – instead of Crazy Cock and the other fool things I invented. Well, fuck a duck! I congratulate him just the same.

同一个橱窗里还有:《一个切成碎片的人》!第一章:他家人眼中的此人。第二章:他情妇眼中的同一个人。第三章:--还没有第三章。得明天再来看第三、第四章,因为橱窗装饰人每天翻一页书。《一个切成碎片的人》……你简直无法想象我是多么气恼,自己竟没有想出一个类似的书名!这个写”他情妇眼中的同一个人……眼中的同一个……同一个……”这家伙在哪儿?这家伙在哪儿?他是谁?我想紧紧拥抱他,我非常非常希望自己有本事想出这样的书名,而不是《疯狂的公鸡》和我发明的其他蠢话。晦,去他妈的,即使我有那样的本事,我也同样会祝贺他的。

I wish him luck with his fine title. Here's another slice for you – for your next book! Ring me up some day. I'm living at the Villa Borghese. We're all dead, or dying, or about to die. We need good titles. We need meat – slices and slices of meat – juicy tenderloins, porterhouse steaks, kidneys, mountain oysters, sweetbreads. Some day, when I'm standing at the corner of 42nd Street and Broadway, I'm going to remember this title and I'm going to put down everything that goes on in my noodle – caviar, rain drops, axle grease, vermicelli, liverwurst – slices and slices of it. And I'll tell no one why, after I had put everything down, I suddenly went home and chopped the baby to pieces. Un acte gratuit pour vous, cher monsieur si bien coupé en tranches!

我希望他的漂亮书名使他走运。这儿是给你的另一片肉—给你下一本书的。抽空给我打个电话,我就住在波勒兹别墅。我们全死了,正在死去或快要死了。我们需要好书名,我们需要肉—一片又一片的肉—牛腰肉,上等牛排、腰子、牛睾丸和牛胰脏。有朝一日,当我站在纽约第四十二大街和百老汇的某一角落里时,我会回忆起这个书名,我会写下脑子里想起的一切—鱼子酱、雨点、车轴润滑油、细面条、腊肠—一片又一片腊肠。把每件往事都记下来之后,我突然回家把孩子切成了碎片。我不会告诉任何人为什么要这样做。亲爱的先生,如果你把它切成碎片,你便可以免费享用。

How a man can wander about all day on an empty belly, and even get an erection once in a while, is one of those mysteries which are too easily explained by the "anatomists of the soul." On a Sunday afternoon, when the shutters are down and the proletariat possesses the street in a kind of dumb torpor, there are certain thoroughfares which remind one of nothing less than a big chancrous cock laid open longitudinally. And it is just these highways, the Rue St. Denis, for instance, or the Faubourg du Temple – which attract one irresistibly, much as in the old days, around Union Square or the upper reaches of the Bowery, one was drawn to the dime museums where in the show windows there were displayed wax reproductions of various organs of the body eaten away by syphilis and other venereal diseases. The city sprouts out like a huge organism diseased in every part, the beautiful thoroughfares only a little less repulsive because they have been drained of their pus.

一个人怎么能空着肚子四处乱逛一整天,而且还不时勃起一回?这是”灵魂剖析家”们能轻而易举解释清楚的秘密之一。 在一个星期日下午,百叶窗都放下来,无产阶级以一种麻木、呆滞的方式占领了街道。有几条大路纵向延伸出去,只会使人联想到一只下疳的大公鸡。而恰恰是这些大路有力地吸引着人们,例如圣德尼街或圣殿郊区。正如从前纽约市的联邦广场或是纽约曼哈顿的鲍里街前段,人们被引诱到简易博物馆来看橱窗内陈列的蜡制的、被梅毒和其他性病侵蚀的人体各个器官。巴黎像一个各处都患了病的巨大有机体向外延伸,这些美丽的大道相比之下不那么令人厌恶只是因为它们体内的脓已挤出去了。

At the City Nortier, somewhere near the Place du Combat, I pause a few minutes to drink in the full squalor of the scene. It is a rectangular court like many another which one glimpses through the low passageways that flank the old arteries of Paris. In the middle of the court is a clump of decrepit buildings which have so rotted away that they have collapsed on one another and formed a sort of intestinal embrace. The ground is uneven, the flagging slippery with slime. A sort of human dump heap which has been filled in with cinders and dry garbage. The sun is setting fast. The colors die. They shift from purple to dried blood, from nacre to bister, from cool dead grays to pigeon shit. Here and there a lopsided monster stands in the window blinking like an owl. There is the shrill squawk of children with pale faces and bony limbs, rickety little urchins marked with the forceps. A fetid odor seeps from the walls, the odor of a mildewed mattress. Europe – medieval, grotesque, monstrous: a symphony in B mol. Directly across the street the Ciné Combat offers its distinguished clientele Metropolis.

在靠近竞技广场不远的北城区,我停了几分钟欣赏这片地方的脏乱景色。同人们在低低的、同巴黎的旧交通要道平行的走道里看到的许多广场一样,这个广场是长方形的。广场中央有一些又破又旧的建筑,衰败不堪,一座倒在另一座顶上,形成了像一团肠子一样的一堆东西。地面不平,铺地的石板上尽是脏东西,很滑,真像一堆混杂着炉渣和垃圾的人屎尿。太阳很快要落下去了,天空中的色彩也消失了,紫色变成干血色,青贝色变成褐色,黯淡的灰色变成鸽粪色。到处都有一个歪七扭八的怪物站在窗子上,像猫头鹰一样挤眼睛,脸色苍白、骨瘦如柴的孩子们发出刺耳的尖叫声,患佝偻病的小顽童头上往往有医生用钳子夹过的印痕。墙里渗出一股恶臭味,那是发霉的床垫味。欧洲,中世纪的、怪诞的、恐怖的欧洲—B-mol调的交响曲。街正对面的竞技影院给它的尊贵的顾客们提供了这个大都市的各种景观。

Coming away my mind reverts to a book that I was reading only the other day. "The town was a shambles; corpses, mangled by butchers and stripped by plunderers, lay thick in the streets; wolves sneaked from the suburbs to eat them; the black death and other plagues crept in to keep them company, and the English came marching on; the while the danse macabre whirled about the tombs in all the cemeteries…" Paris during the days of Charles the Silly! A lovely book! Refreshing, appetizing. I'm still enchanted by it. About the patrons and prodromes of the Renaissance I know little, but Madam Pimpernel, la belle boulangère, and Maître Jehan Crapotte, l'orfèvre, these occupy my spare thoughts still. Not forgetting Rodin, the evil genius of The Wandering Jew, who practised his nefarious ways "until the day when he was enflamed and outwitted by the octoroon Cecily." Sitting in the Square du Temple, musing over the doings of the horse knackers led by Jean Caboche, I have thought long and ruefully over the sad fate of Charles the Silly. A half wit, who prowled about the halls of his Hôtel St. Paul, garbed in the filthiest rags, eaten away by ulcers and vermin, gnawing a bone, when they flung him one, like a mangy dog. At the Rue des Lions I looked for the stones of the old menagerie where he once fed his pets. His only diversion, poor dolt, aside from those card games with his "low born companion," Odette de Champdivers.

走开时我又重新忆起那天看过的一本书。”这座城是一个屠宰场,尸体同屠夫混杂在一起,又被盗贼剥得精光,一层层躺在街上。狼从郊区悄悄溜进来吃他们,黑死病和其他瘟疫也来跟它们为伍,英国人也大踏步赶来。与此同时,死亡之舞在所有墓地的坟堆间旋转……”这书讲的是”愚蠢的查理”时代的巴黎轶事!一本可爱的书!看过后使人精神振奋、胃口大开,我至今仍为它着迷,我对文艺复兴时期的倡导人和先驱者知道的不多,不过对漂亮的面包师平博荷耐福夫人和让•卡波特大师这两人至今记忆犹新,一有空便想起他们。我也忘不了罗丹这个《流浪的犹太人》中的邪恶天才。他无法无天地胡作非为,”直到有一天被有八分之一黑人血统的塞西莉激怒并且智龋”坐在圣殿广场,冥想让•卡博什手下屠宰老弱马匹的人的所做所为,我久久悲哀地想着”愚蠢的查理”的悲惨命运。他是一个智力不健全的人,在他的圣保罗旅馆大厅里转来转去,穿的是最脏最臭的破衣服,溃疡和害虫侵蚀着他的健康。别人丢给他一根骨头,他便像一条癫皮狗一样去啃。我在狮子街寻找从前兽栏的石头,他过去曾在这儿喂宠物,这是除了同他”出身低贱的伙伴”奥代特•德•尚帕狄丰打牌以外的唯一消遣。这可怜的傻子。

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