A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.
A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
A man has at most 6 items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
Women mature much faster then men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults.
Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.
The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.