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BBC: 如何变得魅力四射?

wjrxm 于2019-12-12发布 l 已有人浏览
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为什么有的人招人喜欢,人见人爱?为什么有的人不管走到哪里都可以广交朋友?本集《随身英语》教你如何与人建立融洽的关系及社交礼仪中友谊的“黄金法则”。
    小E英语欢迎您,请点击播放按钮开始播放……

How to be charming

如何变得魅力四射

Life isn't fair. Some people just seem blessed with the ability to effortlessly charm anyone they meet. You know the kind of person, the one who can strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and end up with a new friend or business lead. How do they do it?

生活是不公平的。有些人就像是天生具有魅力似的,不管是谁都会被迷倒。有一种人,能和完全不认识的人侃侃而谈,最后的结果是多了一个朋友或者一单生意。他们是怎么做到的呢?

Well, it might seem like a magical power, but in fact there are a number of factors at work. So, can you learn to develop superhuman charm? The answer is: to a large extent, yes you can.

好吧,好像他们会魔法,但其实这是有很多因素的。所以,你也可以学着培养超人的魅力吗?答案是:很大程度上,你可以。

But first, the bad news. Scientists have found that people initially judge each other based purely on physical appearance. With just a fleeting glimpse of a face, people make snap judgements about each other's likeability, trustworthiness and confidence, according to Alexander Todorov, professor of psychology at Princeton University.

但要先说一个坏消息。科学家们研究发现,人们会首先根据外貌长相去评判彼此。普林斯顿大学心理学教授亚历山大·托多罗夫表示,人们只要瞥一眼对方的脸,就会对对方的喜欢程度、可信度和自信度做出快速判断。

How to counteract this? There's one incredibly simple tool: your smile. Todorov told the BBC that people perceive a smiling face as "more trustworthy, warmer and sociable". It sounds like common sense, doesn't it? Smile and others will smile with you.

如何抵抗这样的现象呢?有一个非常简单的工具:你的微笑。托多罗夫告诉BBC,人们认为笑脸“更值得信任、更温暖、更善于交际”。这听起来像是常识,对吧?对别人微笑,别人也会对你报以微笑。

What other tricks might we have up our sleeves? Former FBI agent Jack Schafer has been trained in how to influence people. He told BBC Capital: "Our brains are always surveying the environment for friend or foe signals." Three things we can do to signal that we are not a threat are to: raise our eyebrows quickly, tilt our heads slightly, and, once again, to smile.

我们还需要具备什么技巧呢?前美国联邦调查局特工杰克·沙弗尔受过如何影响他人的专门训练。他对BBC透露:“我们的大脑会一直判断对方是敌是友。”我们可以通过三步让对方放松防备:迅速扬眉,微微歪头,还有刚说过的,微笑。

So we've looked at body language, but of course what you say is hugely important too, unless you want to just stand there grinning foolishly. Here Schafer recommends that "the golden rule of friendship is if you make people feel good about themselves, they're going to like you." In other words, you need to show interest in them, instead of talking about yourself and all your wonderful achievements. And while you're chatting, remember this: another way of showing interest is to mirror their physical position.

我们已经了解了身体语言的知识,但我们的谈吐也是很重要的,除非你想一直站在那里傻乎乎地咧嘴笑。沙弗尔就这个问题提出的建议是“友谊的黄金法则是,让对方自我感觉良好,对方就会喜欢你。”换句话说,你要表现出对对方的兴趣,而不是对自己以及自己的成就侃侃而谈。此外,谈话时要记住:另一种展现对对方感兴趣的方式是效仿他们的身体姿态。

Another way to form a connection? Find common ground. Suzanne de Janasz, a professor of management with Seattle University, says that charming people are particularly adept at seeking out shared interests or experiences to help them build rapport. Simple things like asking where someone's from really can open up a discussion and allow you to find areas in common. And if all else fails, you can fall back on that most British of topics: the weather. Glorious day, isn't it?

建立友谊的另一种方式?找到共同点。西雅图大学管理学教授Suzanne de Janasz表示,有魅力的人特别善于寻找共同的兴趣或经历,以帮助他们建立融洽的关系。一些简单的事情,比如问某人来自哪里真的可以打开话匣子,让彼此找到共同点。如果以上方法都不灵,可以试试最英国式的话题:天气。天气真好,不是吗?

 

词汇表

blessed

命好的,幸运的

effortlessly

不费吹灰之力地

strike up a conversation

(与人)攀谈

complete stranger

彻头彻尾的陌生人

lead

线索,头绪

superhuman

超乎常人的

to a large extent

在很大程度上

snap judgement

快速、草率的判断

likeability

喜欢程度

trustworthiness

可信度

counteract

对抗

sociable

合群的,好交际的

have something up your sleeve

“留一手”,暗藏某物以备不时之需

foe

敌人

tilt

(使)倾斜

grin

咧嘴笑

golden rule

黄金法则,重要的原则

mirror

效仿

common ground

共同点

rapport

融洽的关系

fall back on

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