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Tony Robbins Ted在Ted英语演讲: Why we do what we do我们从事自己职业的原因(mp3+视频+双语)

kira86 于2012-09-11发布 l 已有人浏览
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Tony Robbins是美国的自救作者和激励演讲家。他通过他的电视购物节目和自助书籍,唤醒无数人内心沉睡的巨人,他教会人们如何克服恐惧、有说服力的沟通并几改善人们之间的关系。
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Tony Robbins是美国的自救作者和激励演讲家。他通过他的电视购物节目和自助书籍,唤醒无数人内心沉睡的巨人,他教会人们如何克服恐惧、有说服力的沟通并几改善人们之间的关系。

 

(Applause) Thank you. I have to tell you I'm both challenged and excited. My excitement is: I get a chance to give something back. My challenge is: the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours. (Laughter) I'm not exaggerating. I do weekends, and what I do -- I do even more than that, obviously, coach people -- but I'm into immersion. Because how did you learn language? You didn't learn it by just learning principles, you got in it and you did it so often that it became real.

(掌声) 谢谢。我必须告诉你们我同时感到挑战与兴奋。 让我感到兴奋的是,我有一个付出回馈的机会。 而我的挑战在于,我最短的研讨会一般也需要50个小时 (而现在我只有18分钟)。 (笑声) 我并没有夸大。我在周末办研讨会,而我的做法是... 我不止办研讨会,或指导他人... 我热衷于沉浸式学习法。你们是怎么学会语言的? 你们并不只是通过学习原理就学会语言, 你们让自己如此频繁地沉浸其中,于是你们自然而然学会了使用语言。

And the bottom line of why I'm here, besides being a crazy mofo, is that I'm really in a position -- I'm not here to motivate you, obviously; you don't need that. And a lot of times that's what people think I do, and it's the furthest thing from it. What happens, though, is people say to me, "I don't need any motivation." And I say, "Well, that's interesting. That's not what I do." I'm the "Why" guy. I want to know why you do what you do.

而我会在这里的原因,除了因为我是一个疯狂的家伙之外, 在于我处于这样一个角色... 我不是来这里激励你们的。你们显然已不需要激励。 时常人们以为我的工作就是激励他人, 而我的工作和激励他人相去甚远。然而, 人们会对我说:我不需要任何激励。 我则回答:好,那很有趣。我的工作不是来激励你。 我是那个问“为什么”的人。我要知道你行为背后的“为什么”。

What is your motive for action? What is it that drives you in your life today? Not 10 years ago. Or are you running the same pattern? Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing in the world. I'm here because I believe emotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds. You know? Most of us here have great minds, right? I don't know about another category, but we all know how to think. And with our minds we can rationalize anything. We can make anything happen. We can -- I agree with what was described a few days ago, about this idea that people work in their self-interest.

你行为的动机是什么? 今天,而不是10年前,是什么在生命中驱动着你? 你是否运用着同样的行为模式?因为我相信, 激发内在驱动的无形力量, 是世界上最重要的事。 我站在这里,因为我相信情绪是生命的力量。 在座的各位,我们都有很棒的头脑。 在这里,我们大部分的人都有很棒的头脑,对吧? 我不清楚没有头脑的人,但我们有头脑的人都知道怎么思考。 我们能够把任何事物合理化。 我们能完成任何事情。我们能...我同意几天前有人形容过的 人们为自己的利益所驱使的想法。

But we all know that that's bullshit at times. You don't work in your self-interest all the time, because when emotion comes into it, the wiring changes in the way it functions. And so it's wonderful for us to think intellectually about how the life of the world is, and especially those who are very smart -- we can play this game in our head. But I really want to know what's driving you.

但我们也都知道有时候那是一派胡言。 你的行为并不是一直都受利益的驱使, 因为当我们加入情绪的因素, 我们追求利益的行为模式也会改变。 所以,用理智来思考这个世界的生活是怎样的, 对我们而言是很奇妙的,特别是... 我们当中那些十分聪明的人,能在心中玩这个游戏。 但我真的想知道的,是什么在驱动着你。

And what I would like to maybe invite you to do by the end of this talk is explore where you are today, for two reasons. One: so that you can contribute more. And two: so that hopefully we can not just understand other people more, but maybe appreciate them more, and create the kinds of connections that can stop some of the challenges that we face in our society today. They're only going to get magnified by the very technology that's connecting us, because it's making us intersect. And that intersection doesn't always create the view of "everybody now understands everybody, and everybody appreciates everybody."

我想要也许请你 在这个演讲结束时,探索今天你在生命中所处的位置。 这么做有两个原因。一,你能做出更多贡献; 二,希望我们不但能更多地了解他人, 也许还能更多的去领会他们,并建立起那种情感联系, 那种能阻止我们社会现今所面临的挑战(问题) 的情感联系。 将我们紧紧联系的科技, 只会放大我们社会面对的那些挑战, 因为科技让我们有了交集。但那种交集 并不总是带来 “现在所有人都互相了解,互相领会” 的观点。

So, I've had an obsession basically for 30 years, and that obsession has been, "What makes the difference in the quality of peoples lives? What makes the difference in their performance?" Because that's what I got hired to do. I've got to produce the result now. That's what I've done for 30 years. I get the phone call when the athlete is burning down on national television, and they were ahead by five strokes and now they can't get back on the course. And I've got to do something right now to get the result or nothing matters. I get the phone call when the child is going commit suicide, and I've got to do something right now. And in 29 years -- I'm very grateful to tell you I've never lost one in 29 years. It doesn't mean I won't some day. But I haven't done it, and the reason is an understanding of these human needs that I want to talk to you about.

所以30年来,我一直深深专注于探讨 “是什么决定了人们的生活品质?” “是什么决定了人们表现的差异?” 因为那是我的工作。 我必须马上帮人们产生他们要的结果。 那就是我30年来的工作。比如说,我会接到一个电话 说有个运动员在全国电视转播的比赛中失去状态, 他的队伍现在领先五分 但他的队友们却已无心回到场上继续比赛。 而我必须马上做些什么帮他们恢复状态 对他们而言那是最重要的。或我会接到个电话 说有个小孩要自杀 而我必须马上做些什么来帮助他。29年来... 29年来我从未辜负过我的客户,我为此心存感激。 这不表示说未来我决不会失手。但至今我从未失手过, 其原因在于我对人类需求的理解。我今天想要和你们谈的就是这些人类需求。

So, when I get those calls about performance, that's one thing. How do you make a change? But also, I'm looking to see what is it that's shaping that person's ability to contribute, to do something beyond themselves. So maybe the real question is, you know, I look at life and say, there's two master lessons. One is: there's the science of achievement, which almost everything that's run is mastered to an amazing extent. That's "How do you take the invisible and make it visible," right? How do you take what you're dreaming of and make it happen? Whether it be your business, your contribution to society, money -- whatever it is for you -- your body, your family.

当我接到一个电话,要求改变某某人的表现,这是一个方面。 你怎样才能改变? 但同时,我也会注意是什么塑造了 这个人贡献的能力, 超越自己的能力。所以真正的问题也许是, 你知道的,我发现人生中有两个核心的课程。 第一个为“成就的科学” 人们在几乎任何方面,把这门课程掌握到近乎完美的程度。 就好像“你如何把无形的东西具体化?”,对吧? 如何把你的梦想变成现实? 不管是你的生意,你对社会的贡献,金钱... 你的身体,你的家庭,等等。

But the other lesson of life that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment. Because science is easy, right? We know the rules. You write the code. You follow the -- and you get the results. Once you know the game you just, you know, you up the ante, don't you? But when it comes to fulfillment -- that's an art. And the reason is, it's about appreciation and it's about contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself. So, I've had an interesting laboratory to try to answer the question of the real question, which is what's the difference in somebody's life if you look at somebody like those people that you've given everything to? Like all the resources they say they need. You gave them not a 100-dollar computer; you gave them the best computer. You gave them love; you gave them joy. You were there to comfort them. And those people very often -- and you know some of them, I'm sure -- end up the rest of their life with all this love, education, money and background, spending their life going in and out of rehab. And then you meet people that have been through ultimate pain -- psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused -- and not always, but often, they become some of the people that contribute the most to society.

但人生中的另一个课程却很少被人们掌握,那就是“满足的艺术” 因为科学比较容易,对吗? 我们知道了规则。你编写程序,你遵循公式, 然后你就能得到结果。就好比,一旦你知道了游戏的玩法, 你就有把握进一步提高赌注,对吧? 可是“满足”却是一门艺术。 因为满足同感激和贡献相关联。 你一个人能给自己带来的满足感是有限的。 为此我办了个有趣的实验室尝试回答这个问题 问题中真正的问题。那就是: 如果你看待某人好比你已为他付出一切,他的生命会有什么不同? 比如说你给了他说他需要的一切资源。 你给他的不是普通100美元的电脑 而是最好的电脑。你给了他你的爱 你给他带来欢乐。你总是能够在他需要你的时候给他安慰。 而常常这些人...我相信你一定认识一些这样的人... 尽管有了这些爱、教育、金钱、 和良好背景,却荒废生命,时常进出戒毒所。 然后你见到那些遭受过极大痛苦的人... 那些在心理、性、精神和情感上遭受虐待的人... 虽然不总是如此,但常常,这些人会成为那些 对社会付出最多贡献的人。

So, the question we've got to ask ourselves really is, what is it? What is it that shapes us? And we live in a therapy culture. Most of us don't do that, but the culture's a therapy culture. And what I mean by that is the mindset that we are our past. And everybody in this room -- you wouldn't be in this room if you bought that theory -- but the -- most of society thinks biography is destiny. The past equals the future. And of course it does if you live there. But what people in this room know, and what we have to remind ourselves, though -- because you can know something intellectually, you can know what to do and then not use it, not apply it.

所以,我们真正需要自问的是,究竟是什么? 是什么塑造了我们?我们生活在一个心理治疗当道的文化中。 我们大多数人并没有接受心理治疗,但我们的文化是一个推崇心理治疗的文化。 我指的是那种“我们就是我们的过去”的思想倾向。 在座的每位...如果你相信这种理论 你就不会坐在这里... 但我们社会中的大部分人认为经历就是命运。 过去等于未来。当然,如果你活在过去,它就会是你的未来。 但在座的各位都知道, 我们必须提醒自己的是... 你可以通过理智了解一样东西,你能知道什么是该做的事 然而却不去应用它,不付诸行动。

So really, we're going to remind ourselves that decision is the ultimate power. That's what it really is. Now, when you ask people, you know, have you failed to achieve something? How many have ever failed to achieve something significant in your life? Say, "Aye."

所以我们真的要提醒我们自己 决定是终极的力量。这是“决定”一词真正的意义。 当你问人, 你是否曾经失败过? 你们有谁曾经在生命中遭遇过 重大失败的?说“明白”

Audience: Aye.

观众:“明白”

TR: Thanks for the interaction on a high level there. (Laughter)

罗宾:谢谢你们热烈的反应。 (笑声)

But if you ask people, why didn't you achieve something? Somebody who's working for you, you know, or a partner, or even yourself. When you fail to achieve a goal, what's the reason people say they fail to achieve? What do they tell you? Don't have the -- didn't know enough, didn't have the -- knowledge. Didn't have the -- money. Didn't have the -- time. Didn't have the -- technology. You know, I didn't have the right manager. Didn't have the ...

当你问某人,为什么你无法达成某事? 比如说你的员工,或生意伙伴, 甚至你自己本人。当你无法达成一个目标, 人们给失败提供的理由是什么? 他们会告诉你什么?他们没有...他们懂的不够多, 没有...知识。没有...钱。 没有...时间。没有...技术。你也听过的, 我没有合适的经理。没有...

Al Gore: Supreme Court. (Laughter)

阿尔.戈尔:最高法院。(笑声)

TR: And -- (Applause) and -- (Applause) -- what do all those, including the Supreme Court, have in common? (Laughter) They are a claim to you missing resources, and they may be accurate. You may not have the money; you may not have the Supreme Court; but that is not the defining factor. (Applause) And you correct me if I'm wrong. The defining factor is never resources; it's resourcefulness. And what I mean specifically, rather than just some phrase, is if you have emotion, human emotion, something that I experienced from you a day before yesterday at a level that is as profound as I've ever experienced, and if you'd communicated with that emotion I believe you would have beat his ass and won. (Applause)

那... (掌声) 那... (掌声) ...所有这些回答,包括最高法院,有什么共同之处? (笑声) 它们都是对你所缺少的资源的索求,而且它们可能是对的 你可能没有钱,你可能没有最高法院 但那不是决定性因素。 (笑声,掌声) 如果我说错的话,纠正我。 决定性因素从来都不是资源,而是策略。 我具体指的是, 如果你运用了情绪,人性化的情绪,就在前天 如果你让我感受到那种最深层次的情绪, 如果你运用那种情绪来和选民沟通, 我相信你一定能狠狠把他(指戈尔的竞选对手布什)打败。 (掌声)

But, how easy for me to tell him what he should do. (Laughter) Idiot, Robbins. But I know when we watched the debate at that time, there were emotions that blocked people's ability to get this man's intellect and capacity. And the way that it came across to some people on that day -- because I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn't, and I was upset. But there was emotion that was there. How many know what I'm talking about here? Say, "Aye."

但是,要我告诉他他该做什么是多么容易。 (笑声) 白痴,罗宾。对,我知道当我们在观看那场辩论时, 有些情感妨碍了人们对 这个人的智力与才能的理解。 那一天你给一些人带来的感觉... 因为我认识原本要投票给你最终却没有的人, 那让我心烦。但事实就是那样...情绪发生了作用。 谁知道我在说什么的?说“明白”

Audience: Aye.

观众:“明白”
7:03
罗宾:对,就是情绪。如果我们处于对的情绪状态, 我们能让自己做任何事。我们能完成任何事。 如果你够创意,够幽默,够有趣, 你能否和任何人沟通?能,还是不能?

TR: So, emotion is it. And if we get the right emotion, we can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it. If you're creative enough, playful enough, fun enough, can you get through to anybody? Yes or no?

观众:能

Audience: Yes.

罗宾:如果你没有钱,但你有足够的创意和决心, 你会找到方法。这就是终极的资源。 但这不是人们告诉我们的故事,对吗? 人们告诉我们的是一大堆不同的故事。 他们告诉我们说我们没有资源,但最终, 如果你看一下这边...麻烦下一张... 他们说,让他们无法完成目标的理由是什么? 下一张幻灯片。他捣乱了我的公式,那个混蛋。 (笑声) 但我告诉你,我欣赏那种能量。 (笑声)

TR: If you don't have the money, but you're creative and determined enough, you find the way. So this is the ultimate resource. But this is not the story that people tell us, right? The story people tell us is a bunch of different stories. They tell us we don't have the resources, but ultimately, if you take a look here -- flip it up, if you would -- they say, what are all the reasons they haven't accomplished that? Next one, please. He's broken my pattern, that son-of-a-bitch. (Laughter) But I appreciated the energy, I'll tell you that. (Laughter)

什么左右了你的资源?我们刚说“决定”塑造命运, 这是我要在这里强调的,如果决定塑造命运,左右我们资源的则是 三个决定。你要把注意力放在什么地方? 现在,你必须决定你要把注意力放在什么地方。 在这一秒,无论有意识或无意识地,当你决定 把注意力放在某样东西上面,你必须赋予这样东西一个意义。 这个意义,无论它是什么,会制造情绪。 这是结束还是开始?老天是在惩罚我 还是在奖励我?或者这不过是偶然? 然后,情绪创造我们的下一步行动。

What determines your resources? We've said decisions shape destiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shape destiny, what determines it is three decisions. What are you going to focus on? Right now, you have to decide what you're going to focus on. In this second, consciously or unconsciously, the minute you decide to focus on something you've got to give it a meaning, and whatever that meaning is produces emotion. Is this the end or the beginning? Is God punishing me or rewarding me, or is this the roll of the dice? An emotion, then, creates what we're going to do or the action.

想想你自己的人生。 那些塑造了你的命运的决定。 那听起来很沉重,但过去的5或10年, 或15年里,有哪些事情是 如果当初你做了一个不同的决定, 你的生命将完全的不同?你能想到多少个这样的决定? 老实说,不管好坏,如果你能记起这样的决定,说“明白”。

So, think about your own life, the decisions that have shaped your destiny. And that sounds really heavy, but in the last five or 10 years, 15 years, how have there been some decisions you've made that if you'd made a different decision, your life would be completely different? How many can think about it? Honestly, better or worse? Say, "Aye."

观众:明白。

Audience: Aye.

罗宾:归根结底,也许这是‘要到哪里工作’的决定, 结果你在那里遇到了你的人生伴侣。 也许那是一个事业的抉择。我知道那两位创建谷歌的天才... 我是说,我知道他们刚开始的决定是 要把他们的技术出售。想象如果他们真的决定出售技术 而不是创建他们自己的文化,会怎么样?世界会是怎样的不同? 他们的人生会是怎样的不同?他们对世界的影响会有什么不同? 我们世界的历史其实就是这些决定。 当一个女人站起来说“不,我不会退到公车后座” 她不只影响了她的人生。那个决定塑造了我们的文化。 或当一个人挡在坦克前。或当一个人处于像阿姆斯特朗(Lance Armstrong)这样的处境 人家告诉你:“你得了睾丸癌”。 这对任何男人都是不小的打击, 特别当你是个骑单车的运动员。 (笑声) 在你的脑海中,在你的心中,你已明白这意味着什么。 但他决定了把注意力集中在什么? 和大多数人都不同。什么意思? 这不是结束,这是开始。我要做什么? 他开始捧回七个大赛冠军;患癌之前他一次都没有赢过, 因为他具备了健康的情绪与顽强的心态。 那就是人与人之间的差别。 在我接触过的三百万人中,我见到那种差别。

TR: So the bottom line is, maybe it was where to go to work, and you met the love of your life there. Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here -- I mean, I understand that their decision was to sell their technology at first. What if they made that decision versus to build their own culture? How would the world be different? How would their lives be different? Their impact? The history of our world is these decisions. When a woman stands up and says, "No, I won't go to the back of the bus," she didn't just affect her life. That decision shaped our culture. Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a position like Lance Armstrong, and someone says to you, "You've got testicular cancer." That's pretty tough for any male, especially if you ride a bike. (Laughter) You've got it in your brain; you've got it in your lungs. But what was his decision of what to focus on? Different than most people. What did it mean? It wasn't the end; it was the beginning. What am I going to do? He goes off and wins seven championships he never once won before the cancer, because he got emotional fitness, psychological strength. That's the difference in human beings that I've seen of the three million that I've been around.

那和我的实验室有关。在过去的29年里 我有机会和三百万来自80个不同国家的人们交流。 经过一段时间,一些模式变得明显。 你会发现南美洲和非洲 可能以某种方式相互有所联系,对吗?其他人说, “哦,那听起来很荒谬” 这很简单。什么塑造了阿姆斯特朗? 什么塑造了你?两个看不见的力量。第一个:状态。 我们都有过这样的经验。 如果你有过这样的经历,当你做了一件事 你对自己说,我不敢相信我竟然说了那些东西 我竟然做了那种事,真是愚蠢...谁有这样的经历? 说“明白”

Because that's about my lab. I've had three million people from 80 different countries that I've had a chance to interact with over the last 29 years. And after a while, patterns become obvious. You see that South America and Africa may be connected in a certain way, right? Other people say, "Oh, that sounds ridiculous." It's simple. So, what shaped Lance? What shapes you? Two invisible forces. Very quickly. One: state. We all have had time. So if you had a time you did something, and after you did it you thought to yourself, I can't believe I said that, I can't believe I did that, that was so stupid -- who's been there? Say, "Aye."

观众:“明白”

Audience: Aye.

罗宾:你是否曾经在做完某事后说“那就是我!” (笑声) 对吧?那不是因为你的能力,那是因为你的状态。 长期塑造你的,是你的世界观。 你的世界观是个过滤器。塑造我们的就是那个过滤器。 促使我们作决定的就是那个过滤器。 当我们要影响某人,我们必须知道 已经影响他们的是什么。 我相信这由三个部分组成。 首先,你的目标是什么?你追求的是什么? 我相信你追求的...并不是你的愿望。 你能满足你的愿望或实现你的目标。你们有谁曾经有个目标 或愿望,然后突然觉得,这一切难道就不过如此吗? 你们有谁有这样的经历的,说“明白”

TR: Have you ever done something, after you did it, you go, "That was me!" (Laughter) Right? It wasn't your ability; it was your state. Your model of the world is what shapes you long term. Your model of the world is the filter. That's what's shaping us. That's what makes people make decisions. When we want to influence somebody, we've got to know what already influences them. And it's made up of three parts, I believe. First, what's your target? What are you after? Which, I believe -- it's not your desires. You can get your desires or goals. How many have ever got a goal or desire and thought, is this all there is? How many have been there? Say, "Aye."

观众:“明白”

Audience: Aye.

罗宾:所以,我们追求的是我们的需求。我相信人类有六种需求。 其次,当你知道驱动着你的目标是什么 并把它掀开寻找底下的真相...你不创建它,只是去发现它... 然后你发现你的“地图”: 是什么信念系统在告诉你如何满足这些需求。 有些人认为满足这些需求的方法是摧毁世界, 有些人的方法则是建设、创造某些东西,或向某些人付出爱。 接着是你选择的燃料。很快地提一下,六种需求。

TR: So, it's needs we have. I believe there are six human needs. Second, once you know what the target that's driving you is and you uncover it for the truth -- you don't form it; you uncover it -- then you find out what's your map, what's the belief systems that are telling you how to get those needs. Some people think the way to get those needs is destroy the world, some people is to build something, create something, love someone. And then there's the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs.

让我告诉你它们是什么。第一种需求:确定性 现在我提的不是目标或愿望,这些是很普遍的需求。 每个人都需要确定性来避免痛苦 或至少过得舒适。那你怎么获得确定性? 控制所有人?学一门技能?放弃?吸一根烟? 但讽刺的是,当你获得完全的确定性, 虽然我们都需要确定性... 譬如说,如果你对你的健康,或儿女,或金钱感到不确定, 你不会去想太多其他的东西。 你不会去理天花板是否牢固, 你不会去听任何演讲。 但是,当我们选择另一种不同的确定性,如果我们获得完全的确定性, 我们得到什么?当你很确定的时候你感觉到什么? 譬如当你知道,什么将要发生?什么时候它会发生? 它将怎样发生?你会有什么感觉? 无聊得发疯。所以,具有无限智慧的上帝, (笑声) 给了我们人类第二种需求,那就是不确定性。 我们需要多样化。我们需要惊喜。 你们谁喜欢惊喜的,说“明白”

Let me tell you what they are. First one: certainty. Now, these are not goals or desires, these are universal. Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain and at least be comfortable. Now, how do you get it? Control everybody? Develop a skill? Give up? Smoke a cigarette? And if you got totally certain, ironically, even though we all need that -- like if you're not certain about your health, or your children, or money, you don't think about much. You're not sure if the ceiling's going to hold up, you're not going to listen to any speaker. But, while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what? What do you feel if you're certain? You know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, how it's going to happen -- what would you feel? Bored out of your minds. So, God, in Her infinite wisdom, (Laughter) gave us a second human need, which is uncertainty. We need variety. We need surprise. How many of you here love surprises? Say, "Aye."

观众:“明白”

Audience: Aye.

罗宾:废话。你们喜欢你们要的惊喜。 (笑声) 那些你们不要的你们称之为问题,但你们需要它们。 多样化很重要。你们曾经租过你们 早已看过的电影吗?谁租过?去过稍微有意义一点的生活吧。 (笑声) 好吧。为什么你会这么做?因为你很确定那是部好电影 因为你看过,但你却希望上次你看那电影是足够久以前, 希望你早已经忘记它的情节,那也是你追求多样化的表现。

TR: Bullshit. You like the surprises you want. (Laughter) The ones you don't want you call problems, but you need them. So, variety is important. Have you ever rented a video or a film that you've already seen? Who's done this? Get a fucking life. (Laughter) All right. Why are you doing it? You're certain it's good because you read it before, saw it before, but you're hoping it's been long enough you've forgotten, that there's variety.

第三种人类需求:重要...重要性。我们都需要觉得自己重要, 特别,独一无二。你能通过赚更多钱来让自己变得重要或特别。 或通过更加关注精神的崇高纯洁。 或通过在其他人不想知道的身体部位 加上更多的纹身和耳环。 人们为变得重要或特别不惜代价。而最快的方法, 如果你没有背景,没有文化,没有信仰和资源, 是暴力。如果我拿支枪指着你的头 而我就住在个普通的社区,我马上会觉得自己很不简单。 从0到10,代表不同程度。这有多么刺激?10。我有多么确定 你会作出反应?10。有多少不确定性? 谁知道接下来有什么会发生?真是有点令人感到兴奋。 这就象往上爬进一个洞穴,然后又往下跳。 完全的多样化与不确定性。 而多样化与不确定性很重要,对吗?所以你会为它们冒生命的险。 那就是为什么暴力一直都存在,而且会继续存在。 直到我们作为一个物种,有了意识的变化。 你有一百万种方法可以获得重要性, 但要变得重要,你必须独一无二、与众不同。

Third human need, critical: significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by making more money. You can do it by being more spiritual. You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in places humans don't want to know. Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this, if you have no background, no culture, no belief and resources or resourcefulness, is violence. If I put a gun to your head and I live in the 'hood, instantly I'm significant. Zero to 10. How high? 10. How certain am I that you're going to respond to me? 10. How much uncertainty? Who knows what's going to happen next? Kind of exciting. Like climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff all the way down there. Total variety and uncertainty. And it's significant, isn't it? So you want to risk your life for it. So that's why violence has always been around and will be around unless we have a consciousness change as a species. Now, you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant, you've got to be unique and different.

这是我们真正需要的:情感联系和爱...第四种需求。 我们全都需要它。大部分人满足与情感联系。 因为爱太可怕了。他们不想受伤害。 这里有谁曾经在一段亲密关系中受到过伤害的?说“明白” (笑声) 如果你不举手,你也会有其他很烂的经历,别假装了。 (笑声) 而且你会再次受到伤害。 你难道不高兴自己用这样正面的态度回忆那种经历吗? (笑声) 但事实是...我们需要爱。我们可以通过亲密行为, 通过友情,通过祈祷,通过在自然中散步,来得到爱。 如果其他方法都不管用,养只狗。别养猫,养狗。 因为如果你走开两分钟,五分钟后回来, 你的猫会觉得你已经失踪了六个月,对吧? (笑声)

Here's what we really need: connection and love -- fourth need. We all want it. Most people settle for connection because love's too scary. Don't want to get hurt. Who here has ever been hurt in an intimate relationship? Say, "Aye." (Laughter) If you don't raise your hand, you'll have had other shit too, come on. (Laughter) And you're going to get hurt again. Aren't you glad you came to this positive visit? (Laughter) But here's what's true -- we need it. We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don't get a cat. Get a dog, because if you leave for two minutes, it's like you've been gone for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right? (Laughter)

这些是首四种需求,每个人都有一个满足它们的方法。 即使你对自己撒谎,你也需要有分裂的个性。 但最后的两种需求...前面四种需求我称做 个性的需求... 最后两种需求是心灵的需求。 这也是我们要提到满足感的部分。你不会在前四种需求中 获得真正的满足感。你会找到一个方法...抽烟,喝酒,等等... 来满足前四种需求,但最后两种需求...第五种需求: 你必须成长。我们都知道这个答案。 如果你不成长,你会是什么?如果一段关系不发展, 如果生意不发展,如果你没有成长, 无论你有多少的钱, 多少的朋友,多少人爱你, 你会感觉糟糕透顶。而我们成长的原因,我相信, 是因为我们有可以付出的价值。

Now, these first four needs, every human finds a way to meet. Even if you lie to yourself, you need to have split personalities. But the last two needs -- the first four needs are called the needs of the personalities, is what I call it -- the last two are the needs of the spirit. And this is where fulfillment comes. You won't get fulfillment from the first four. You'll figure a way -- smoke, drink, do whatever -- to meet the first four, but the last two -- number five: you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don't grow, you're what? If a relationship's not growing, if a business is not growing, if you're not growing, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people love you, you feel like hell. And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value.

因为我们的第六种需求就是付出贡献。 因为我们都知道,尽管像是陈词滥调, 生活的秘诀就是付出。我们都知道生活不是关于“我”, 而是“我们”。我们这个文化知道。在座所有人也知道。 这很振奋人心。当你看见尼古拉斯在台上谈论 他的一百美元的电脑,最让人激昂万分的是, 这是个天才,但他现在有个使命了。 你可以发现他的不同和其内在的美。 而那使命能感动他人。在我自己的生命中, 我的生命在我十一岁的时候被感动。 感恩节,没有钱,没有食物。我们并不须要挨饿, 但我的父亲却酩酊大醉。我的母亲让他知道 他是多么的糟糕。然后有人来到我们门前 送来食物。我的父亲作了三个决定。 我知道他做了什么决定。他的注意力放在 “这是慈善。” “这表示什么?这表示我毫无价值,我该怎么办?” “离开我的家庭”。 他真的离开了。那是生命中最痛苦的其中一次经历。 我的三个决定把我带上另一条道路。 我说:“把注意力放在 ‘有吃的了’ 上面”...多么棒的一个想法,对吧。 (笑声)

Because the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves. Because we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret to living is giving. We all know life's not about me; it's about we. This culture knows that. This room knows that. And it's exciting. When you see Nicholas up here talking about his $100 computer, the most passionate exciting thing is: here's a genius, but he's got a calling now. You can feel the difference in him and it's beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food -- we're not going to starve, but my father was totally messed up. My mom was letting him know how bad he messed up. And somebody came to the door and delivered food. My father made three decisions. I know what they were briefly. His focus was: "This is charity. What does it mean? I'm worthless. What've I got to do? Leave my family." Which he did. The time was one of the most painful experiences of life. My three decisions gave me a different path. I said, "Focus on: 'there's food'" -- what a concept, you know. (Laughter)

第二 -- 但这就是改变我生命的决定, 这就是把我塑造为一个人的决定...“某人送来的礼物, 我甚至不知道他是谁” 我爸常说, “我才不在乎” 突然之间,一个我不认识的人, 他们不要求得到什么,他们只是给我们的家庭送来食物, 照顾我们。这使我相信:“陌生人关心我们,这代表什么呢?” 而使我做出决定的是, 倘若陌生人关心我和我的家庭,我也会关心他们。 我将要做什么呢?我要做一些事 以做出改变。因此,当我17岁时,有一次我在感恩节出门, 那是我多年来的目标, 拥有足够的钱给两个家庭送去食物。 这是我人生中做过的最有趣、也是最令人感动的事。 第二年我给四个家庭送去了食物。我没有告诉任何人我在做什么。 再下一年我增加到八个家庭。我做这些不是为了得到他人的称赞, 只是八个家庭以后,我想,妈的,我可以寻找一些帮助。 (笑声)

Second -- but this is what changed my life, this is what shaped me as a human being -- "Somebody's gift. I don't even know who it is." My father always said, "No one gives a shit." And all of a sudden, somebody I don't know, they're not asking for anything, they're just giving our family food, looking out for us. It made me believe this: "What does it mean that strangers care?" And what that made me decide is, if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them. What am I going to do? I'm going to do something to make a difference. So, when I was 17, I went out one day on Thanksgiving. It was my target for years to have enough money to feed two families. The most fun thing I ever did in my life, the most moving. Then next year I did four. I didn't tell anybody what I was doing. Next year eight. I wasn't doing it for brownie points, but after eight, I thought, shit, I could use some help. (Laughter)

想当然,我出去做了些什么? 我拉拢了我的朋友并创建了很多家公司 之后我拥有11家公司,并且设立了一个基金。 现在,18年后,我很自豪的说,去年 通过我们的基金我们给35个国家的两百万人口送去食物, 所有都是在假期期间:感恩节,圣诞节... (掌声) ...在全世界不同的国家。 这真是令人难以置信。 (掌声) 谢谢 (掌声) 我告诉你这些不是为了吹嘘,我告诉你因为我为人类 感到自豪,因为人们一旦经验了,而不是谈论,付出和贡献以后, 就会为付出和贡献感到兴奋。

So sure enough, I went out and what did I do? I got my friends involved and I grew companies and then I got 11 companies and I built the foundation. Now, 18 years later, I'm proud to tell you, last year we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation, all during the holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas -- (Applause) -- in all the different countries around the world. It's been fantastic. (Applause) Thank you. (Applause) So, I don't tell you that to brag; I tell you because I'm proud of human beings, because they get excited to contribute once they've had the chance to experience it, not talk about it.

好了,最后...我的时间马上就要到了...塑造你的那个目标... 这就是人们不一样的地方。我们有同样的需求, 但你是否狂热追求确定性?确定性,或不确定性, 才是你最重视的?这位仁兄,如果他爬过那些洞穴, 他就不可能是确定性的狂热追求者。你是被重要性,还是爱,所驱动? 我们所有人都有这六种需求,但无论你的主导信念系统是什么, 它都会让你往一个不同的方向倾斜。 而当你往一个方向移动,你就有了一个目的地,或命运。 第二个方面是地图。把它想象成一个操作系统 它告诉你怎样到达目的地。有的人的地图是, “我要拯救生命,就算我会为他人而死去” 这些人就是救火员。有些人的地图则是, “我即使杀人也要去做...” 他们其实也在追求 同样的对重要性的需求,不是吗?他们想要追寻上帝 或听从他们的家庭,不过他们有不一样的地图。

So, finally -- and I'm about out of time -- the target that shapes you -- here's what's different about people. We have the same needs, but are you a certainty freak? Is that what you value most, or uncertainty? This man here couldn't be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance or love? We all need all six, but whatever your lead system is, tilts you in a different direction. And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating system that tells you how to get there. And some people's map is: "I'm going to save lives even if I die for other people," and they're firemen. Somebody else is: "I'm going to kill people to do it." They're trying to meet the same needs of significance, right? They want to honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map.

另外还有七种信念。我无法一一说明 因为我已经讲完了。最后一个方面是情绪。 我觉得地图的其中一个部分是时间。在有的人的心目中 100年是很长的时间。有的人则认为3秒种很长, 对我而言3秒钟就是我现在剩下的时间。 (笑声) 我刚刚已经提过的,你应该知道了。 如果你有一个目标和一张地图,比如说... 我无法用谷歌因为我喜欢苹果,而他们还没让谷歌地图与苹果电脑兼容... ...所以如果你用MapQuest...你们有谁 犯了使用MapQuest这个致命的错误? (笑声) 如果你用这东西,你不会到你想要到的地方。想象一下, 如果你的信念保证你永远到不了你要去的地方? (笑声)

And there are seven different beliefs. I can't go through them because I'm done. The last piece is emotion. I'd say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people's idea of a long time is 100 years. Somebody else's is three seconds, which is what I have. (Laughter) And the last one I've already mentioned, that fell to you. If you've got a target and you've got a map and let's say -- I can't use Google because I love Macs and they haven't made it good for Macs yet -- so if you use MapQuest -- how many have made this fatal mistake of using MapQuest at some time? (Laughter) You use this thing and you don't get there. Well, imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go? (Laughter)

最后是情绪。 关于情绪,我要告诉你有6000种情绪, 在英语里边有相应的文字来形容它们, 而那不过只是随语言变化的文字描述。 但如果你的主要情绪... 如果我有多一些时间,让两万人或一千人, 写下他们一个星期里所感受过的所有情绪, 他们需要多长的时间我都会给他们。 他们在其中一边写下正面的有力量的情绪, 另一边写下负面的消极的情绪。 猜一猜人们感受过多少种情绪?少于12种。 其中的一半让他们觉得糟糕透顶。所以他们只有 五到六种好的感觉,对吧?就好像他们会觉得“高兴,高兴, 兴奋,哦 混账,沮丧,沮丧,受不了,消沉” 你们有谁认识那种无论什么事发生,都有办法 让自己生气的人?你们有谁认识这样的人? (笑声) 或者,无论什么事发生,他们都能找方法让自己开心或兴奋, 有谁认识这样的人?

The last thing is emotion. Now, here's what I'll tell you about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language, which is just a linguistic representation, right, that changes by language. But if your dominant emotions -- if I had more time, I have 20,000 people or 1,000, and I have them write down all the emotions that they experience in an average week, and I gave them as long as they needed, and on one side they write empowering emotions, the other's disempowering -- guess how many emotions people experience? Less than 12. And half of those make them feel like shit. So they got five or six good frickin' feelings, right? It's like they feel "happy, happy, excited, oh shit, frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed." How many of you know somebody who no matter what happens finds a way to get pissed off? How many know somebody like this? (Laughter) Or, no matter what happens, they find a way to be happy or excited. How may know somebody like this? Come on.

当911事件发生时...我会用这结束我的演讲...我在夏威夷。 我和来自45个国家的2000人在一起。 我有一个为期一星期的研讨会,我们在里边 安排四种语言的同声传译。911之前的那个晚上 我们刚上过“情绪掌控”。我走上台,没有事先安排,就对他们说... ...我们有很多的烟花...我会在研讨会中做疯狂有趣的东西... 在临近结束时我停下来...我已计划好要讲什么, 但我却从来不按照计划行动。然后突然间我说, “人们什么时候会真正开始生活?当他们面对死亡的时候” 然后我开始让大家思考这个问题, 如果你就要离开这个岛,如果九天以后你就会死去, 你会打电话给谁?你会说什么? 你会做什么?有一个女人...那是911发生后的那个晚上... 一个女人来参加那个研讨会, 她的上一个男友被人绑架和谋杀, 当她的新男朋友想要和她结婚,她拒绝了。

When 9/11 happened -- I'll finish with this -- I was in Hawaii. I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries. We were translating four languages simultaneously for a program that I was conducting for a week. The night before was called "Emotional Mastering." I got up, had no plan for the this, and I said -- we had all these fireworks -- I do crazy shit, fun stuff -- and then at the end I stopped -- I had this plan I was going to say but I never do what I'm going to say. And all of a sudden I said, "When do people really start to live? When they face death." And then I went through this whole thing about, if you weren't going to get off this island, if nine days from now you were going to die, who would you call, what would you say, what would you do? One woman -- well, that night is when 9/11 happened -- one woman had come to the seminar and when she came there, her previous boyfriend had been kidnapped and murdered. Her friend, her new boyfriend, wanted to marry her, and she said no.

她的男友说:“如果你要离开,去参加在夏威夷的什么研讨会,那我们的感情就结束了” 她回答:“已经结束了” 当我结束那晚的课程,她给他打电话、留言, ...真实的故事...她的男友在世贸中心顶层工作。 她在留言里说:亲爱的,我爱你,我只想让你知道 我想和你结婚。我当时拒绝你真是愚蠢。 当他给她回电时,她正在睡梦中。在夏威夷那是凌晨3点 他在世贸中心的顶层对她说:亲爱的,我无法告诉你这是怎么回事。 他说:“我不知道怎么告诉你这个消息, 但你给了我最好的礼物,因为我就要死了” 她把这个留言播放给我们听。 她后来上了拉里.金的节目,她的男友说: “你也许很疑惑为什么这样的事会再次发生在你身上(男友意外身亡)” “我只能跟你说,这一定是上天给你传达的信息” “亲爱的,从今以后,每一天都全心付出,爱你身边所有的人。” “千万别让任何事阻止你付出你的爱”。她说完后,一个男人站起来 说:“我来自巴基斯坦,我是个伊斯兰教徒(穆斯林)” 我想要握着你的手向你说我很抱歉, 但老实说,这是报应” 我无法告诉你剩下的故事 因为我已经没有时间了。 (笑声) 10秒钟。 (掌声)

He said, "If you leave and go to that Hawaii thing, it's over with us." She said, "It's over." When I finished that night, she called him and left a message -- true story -- at the top of the World Trade Center where he worked, saying, "Honey, I love you, I just want you to know I want to marry you. It was stupid of me." She was asleep, because it was 3 a.m. for us, when he called her back from the top and said, "Honey, I can't tell you what this means." He said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but you gave me the greatest gift because I'm going to die." And she played the recording for us in the room. She was on Larry King later, and he said, "You're probably wondering how on Earth this could happen to you twice." And he said, "All I can say to you is, this must be God's message to you, honey. From now on, every day give your all, love your all. Don't let anything ever stop you." She finishes, and a man stands up and he says, "I'm from Pakistan; I'm a Muslim. I'd love to hold your hand and say I'm sorry, but, frankly, this is retribution." I can't tell you the rest because I'm out of time. (Laughter) 10 seconds. (Applause)

就10秒钟。我要尊重你们的时间。10秒钟。 我能告诉你们的是,我把这个男人带上台, 还有一个从纽约来的,曾经在世贸中心工作的男人, 因为我的课程学员中有大约200个纽约人。 他们当中有超过50人失去了他们的整个公司、朋友, 在他们的掌上型电脑里划出死者的名字。...有个金融交易员,一个刚强的女人... 大叫着将30个死去的朋友的名字划掉。 而我只是问他们:“我们要把注意力放在什么地方?” “这意味着什么?我们要做什么?”

10 seconds, that's all. I want to be respectful. 10 seconds. All I can tell you is, I brought this man on stage with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center, because I had about 200 New Yorkers there. More than 50 lost their entire companies, their friends, marking off their Palm Pilots -- one financial trader, this woman made of steel, bawling -- 30 friends crossing off that all died. And what I did to people is said, "What are we going to focus on? What does this mean and what are we going to do?"

我让所有学员集中他们的注意力, 如果今天你没有失去亲友,你的注意力应该放在 如何帮助他人。有一些人... 然后一个女人站起来,她很生气的大喊大叫。 然后我发现她不是来自纽约,也不是美国人。 她在这里不认识任何人。我问:你总是感到愤怒吗? 她说:“对”。内疚的人内疚,伤心的人伤心。 然后我把这两个男人叫到一起,开始我称为“间接谈判”的过程。 一个犹太人,他的家庭在被占领的土地上,他住在纽约, 如果当天他有去工作的话,他早已经丧命;另外一个男人, 他要成为一个恐怖分子,并很清楚的表达他的这个意图。 那个互相认同的过程被记录在一个影片中, 我很乐意把它寄给你,那样你就可以真的看到 究竟发生了什么事,而不只是听我的口头描述。 但这两个人不只是一起 改变了他们对世界的信念和道德观 在过去接近四年里,他们一起在各个清真寺和犹太教堂 提出如何创造和平的想法。 他还写了一本书,书名是 《我的圣战:我的和平之路》。改变是能够实现的。

And I took the group and got people to focus on: if you didn't lose somebody today, your focus is going to be how to serve somebody else. There are people -- then one woman got up and she was so angry and screaming and yelling. Then I found out she wasn't from New York; she's not an American; she doesn't know anybody here. I said, "Do you always get angry?" She said, "Yes." Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad. And I took these two men and did what I call an indirect negotiation. Jewish man with family in the occupied territory, someone in New York who would have died if he was at work that day, and this man who wanted to be a terrorist and made it very clear. And the integration that happened is on a film, which I'll be happy to send you, so you can really see what actually happened instead of my verbalization of it, but the two of them not only came together and changed their beliefs and morals of the world, but they worked together to bring, for almost four years now, through various mosques and synagogues, the idea of how to create peace. And he wrote a book, which is called "My Jihad, My Way of Peace." So, transformation can happen.

所以我邀请你,探索你的网络,脑袋里的网络... 控制着你的那些需求、信念、情绪。 这么做的两个原因:你有能力付出更多,也能成就更多, 我们都想有更多的成就。但我指的是付出, 因为付出才能让你真正充实满足。第二个原因, 你会懂得领会...不只是了解,了解来自于理智... 但领会究竟是什么在驱动着其他人。 这是唯一改变我们世界的方法。上帝保佑你。 谢谢。我希望这对你有所帮助。 (掌声)

So my invitation to you is this: explore your web, the web in here -- the needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons: so there's more of you to give -- and achieve too, we all want to do it -- but I mean give, because that's what's going to fill you up. And secondly, so you can appreciate -- not just understand, that's intellectual, that's the mind -- but appreciate what's driving other people. It's the only way our world's going to change. God bless you. Thank you. I hope this was of service. (Applause)

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